The Internal Game Every Leader Must Win | Ep. 101

Episode Summary

Executive presence isn't something you turn on during a meeting. It's built through the daily habits, mindset, and self-leadership that shape how you respond under pressure.

Coach Mo sits down with entrepreneur, author, and sales trainer Daryl Dittmer to explore why confidence, discipline, purpose, and resilience matter more than any script or strategy. Together they discuss rejection, emotional stamina, self-trust, and why success begins long before performance ever becomes visible. Coach Mo also introduces his S.W.A.G.® Framework, demonstrating how self-awareness, purpose, aligned action, and grit strengthen leadership from the inside out.

Whether you're leading a team, growing your career, or navigating uncertainty, this conversation offers practical insights for building lasting executive presence.

Key Takeaways

• Executive Presence Starts Internally
  Confidence grows from how you lead yourself every day. 
• Your Why Must Be Bigger Than Your Obstacles
  Purpose creates the resilience needed to keep moving through rejection and setbacks. 
• Develop Habits Before You Need Them
  Small disciplines compound into lasting confidence under pressure. 
• Stop Personalizing Rejection
  Rejection is feedback, not a reflection of your worth. 
• Build Self-Trust One Decision at a Time
  Every intentional action strengthens your ability to influence others.

Transcript

Welcome And The SWAN Mission

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Welcome to the Let's Think About It podcast, where high achievers stop performing and start transforming. I'm Coach Mo, certified core energy leadership coach, founder of the inner arena, and creator of the Swan Framework. Self-awareness, my power, aligned action, and grit. Around here, retrain your mindset, challenge your limits, and turn pressure into purpose. Subscribe now and join me on YouTube at Swan X Coaching. So let's get your reps in.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

We're gonna big, gonna be. We're gonna big, gonna be.

Meet Daryl And His Origin

SPEAKER_01 1:05

He's an entrepreneur and a sales and life trainer. He's here to bring a ton of wisdom with how he leads people and train people. Daryl, how are you doing, sir?

SPEAKER_02 1:18

I'm doing well, Coach Mo. Thank you. How are you doing, man?

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Man, I'm doing awesome. I'm doing awesome. Thanks for having me up. Really excited to jump into a conversation with you. But before we do that, you gotta tell us where are you checking in from?

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Currently, I'm checking in from the mountains of North Georgia. I originally hailed from Detroit. Okay. Was born in Detroit, and uh but I live in the mountains of North Georgia now. How long have you been in Georgia? Uh, about almost five years. Right after COVID, we're like we were in Massachusetts at the time and had some business interests, that kind of thing. And we decided, you know what, we're just gonna pull up the rug and we're gonna move and we're gonna go. And one of the exciting things in life is what can I do next? And it just opened up a whole what can I do next box. So it was great.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

That's a great subway into my first question. Who are you, what you do, and what is the type of value that you bring?

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Who I am is shaped by, in some measure, how I grew up, who I was. And I grew up in a very blue-collar family. My dad was a mechanic, my mom took care of us kids, and that was formative for me. My dad was also a Korean War veteran, so he was a fairly tough dude. My mom was also pretty tough. So that was from whence I came. It was all about work ethic, it was all about responsibility and taking care of your business. Put a lot of pressure on me as a young person to perform in sports and grades and manners, and which wasn't a bad thing, but there were certain things I just wasn't equipped to deal with. So fast forward to my early teens, and I got involved in drinking and drugs, and I won't belabor that story, but that was also a very formative part of my life. I went into a drug and alcohol treatment program at the age of 19. And I was left with no other choice but to get it together and get my life together and move something forward because you can take away the alcohol and the drugs, but if you don't change the person, you can go right back to that stuff. So I had to change the person, and that's what I decided to do. And I was fortunate to take risks, I jumped into things and got my nose busted proverbially, just and I went into I went into things with abandon because I wanted a different life. And that happened for me over the course of time, became successful in business and owned a few different businesses, which was great. What I try to do is I try to give back to the extent that I can and to help people with life, to help people with their sales presence.

Rejection And The Real Sales Battle

SPEAKER_02 4:03

I try to give back every day. Anybody I see on the street, anybody I'm walking by, the cashier at the grocery store, it doesn't matter. I want to be the person that shows up in the right way for life so that I can help others.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

How does that convert over into the sales industry? Right. And when we talk about executive presence, how does that correlate to everything that you just said into sales training, sales development? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

What it looks like is because normally what salespeople are trained to do is here's your script, here's how you close, here's how you handle objections, outward stuff, right? And it doesn't address the fact that you're gonna get hundreds of no's, you're gonna get hundreds of rejections, you're gonna have people hurt your feelings, you're gonna have people tell you to go away and never come back. And if you have not gained some sturdiness in your being, and one of the things that I think is crucially important, coach, is we have to understand what our why is. And that's yes, that's probably number one. And I've got a five-part training, but number one is I'm gonna talk to people about their why. How big is your why? How expansive is your why? I've talked to some people, I'm like, what's your why? Why are you doing this? Why are you gonna put yourself through all of this pain? And they're like, I might want to help some people with my mom needs some, and I'm like, no, I need a car, or and I get it, those things are whys, but is that going to carry you through when you want to quit a hundred times when you want to quit? And that's the key.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah. Can I share a quick story about this? Love it. I remember it's decades now, and I was in insurance coming out of college, and I was selling investments, life insurance and investment services, right? And just like you said, we had this script, and you had to get out there and get yourself, right? I memorized the script, all of the technical things, I was on lock. But when it came time to pick up that phone and cold call, I avoided it, right? I avoided it. And back to your point, I didn't know what my why was back then. So think about it. In those moments, I wasn't trained in how to address my own executive presence, right? The meaning of when someone tells me no, that it's not a direct personal attack on Maurice Mabry, but it was a no towards maybe not right now. But in those moments, when I think back on it, I personalized it as they're rejecting me as a person. When I personalized it from that viewpoint, I felt bad, I felt guilty, I felt discouraged. So, guess what I did? I avoided hearing no, subconsciously, though, subconsciously, because when I think back to those moments, when it was time to make those calls, I had these ingrained excuses and distractions that prevented me from just making the call. I had to go organize my desk, I had to go get some extra trips to get some coffee for people in the office, anything subconsciously to do to avoid making those calls. And I think that's something that's really not addressed because when you look at sales training and you look at an organization that supports all of their team members to get the same exact training, everyone gets the same exact training, right? But yet only five to ten percent are truly successful, and the other 80-90% is mediocre, average at best. Why is that? It's the internal gain. That's why. And so that's why I bring that up.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah, I love it. And life insurance in particular is 90% of salespeople that start are not there your leader. That's one of the that's one of the roughest ones, man. How are we built for it, right? How do we build ourselves for that? And how do we sometimes it's as simple as expecting that I'm gonna get my butt handed to me, just knowing that's a possibility and that's probably gonna happen. I'll just say real quick, Zig Ziggler, I think it was Zig Ziggler used to say, and I used to throw those cassette tapes in my car when I first got in sales because I wanted to hear all this stuff. But one of the things he said is he said, whoever gets the most knows

Five Habits That Build Sturdiness

SPEAKER_02 9:20

wins. Yep. That's what sales is.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Yep. What framework or system do you teach people in sales to utilize so that they can get over that hump?

SPEAKER_02 9:33

I said the first thing is the why. We work that out. The second thing is understanding that there are, and I talk about this in one of my one of my books, only one thing that we aren't we don't have any control over in this world, and that's called the nouns, and that's called people, places, and things, right? Okay, we don't have any control over people, places, and things. What we do have control over is our attitude, our effort, and our ultimate success or failure. And I 100% believe that we have control over attitude, effort, 100%, and ultimate success or failure. So the first thing is owning my story, owning my life as it regards sales, and how am I going to apply me to sales? The second thing is lean into the difficult stuff. I've done it just like you, coach. Seriously. I was talking to a kid the other day and he was flabbergasted and he was early 20s. He was flabbergasted that I said, you know what? You know when you're supposed to do prospecting? He's no, I said, on the weekend. I said, because during the week, if you're a salesperson, you got to be in front of other human beings, whether it's via email or Zoom call or physical presence or whatever it is on the phone, doesn't matter. That's when you're in front of human beings. The weekends you can work out the paperwork depending on how committed you are. So anyway, I'll go through the other quick steps, but the next step is just setting up the disciplines and the habits that I will need to strengthen me so that I can withstand. And am I, is it as simple sometimes as you know what? Start making your bed every day. Disciplines for yourself. The next one is building relationships and learning how to build trust. And the way we do that is we understand, and it's difficult in today's age, that it's not all about me, it's all about them, it's all about everyone besides me. I remember literally eating potatoes because it was the cheapest food that gave me the most food and looking for money in my car to get to the next appointment. But I couldn't carry that desperation into meetings. I had to make it about them. And then the next thing is what is my enduring success plan look like? How am I going to treat myself on a daily basis so that I am sturdy enough to handle a long-term sales career? And that has to do with my health, has to do with my use of time, it has to do with my energy. All of those things matter completely to how sturdy I am for a sales career.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

And but how does implementing everything that you said shifts one's executive presence and how they trust self and the decisions that they make and the influence that they have in current environments?

SPEAKER_02 12:47

I would say that as we develop ourselves, confidence comes as we pay attention to how am I treating myself? How am I treating my body? How am I treating my mind? How am I treating my heart? How am I treating my soul? All of those things matter. How am I treating, and I'll say from a sales perspective, what does my prospect list look like? And what is my do I have 400 people on my prospect list, or do I have three? And do I have a do I have a current funnel that's almost empty or is it full? How I treat all of those things is how I show up and how I look and how people believe that they can trust me. Because if I trust myself, people are going to automatically trust me. If I'm doing all of these things, if I'm doing them for myself, it shows if I develop one or two small habits that contribute to me showing up in a different way in this life than I had shown up before. Maybe it's, you know what, I don't go out drinking on Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights. Maybe it's I sit home and read a book, or maybe it's I pull out one of those nights to do something different. Whatever it is, and simple as making the bed. Maybe I don't eat after eight o'clock at night so that I don't wake up feeling

SWAG And Executive Presence Connect

SPEAKER_02 14:21

like, oh man, that bag of chips not sitting well. All of those things contribute to a better me, to a better presence, to being more trusted because I'm trusting myself with myself.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

You're playing music to my ears right now because that mirrors swag, my swag framework, self-awareness, white power, aligned action, and grid. All of that, it starts with self-awareness, right? It sales, it doesn't matter what industry you're in, because we are the executives of self-first, right? And you have awareness of the thoughts that you naturally carry throughout the day, there's power because you can shift those thoughts. You just have to have the awareness that these maybe negative thoughts are in existence right now. And when they are in existence, guess what you have the ability to do when you know that it's present? Change it. It goes back to attitude. Your why power. We've already talked about that. Purpose, knowing your why. That's the driver of everything that we do because it even correlates with your core values that you naturally carry. When those values are misaligned, guess how you feel? Down, discouraged, upset, triggered, angry, stressed. That's because your values are misaligned, which distracts you away from your purpose in that moment. So when you have purpose, guess what else happens? You have specific actions that you naturally know what to take to get you to your end goal. Because purpose is present. You have this feeling, you have this itch of just knowing I need to do this to fulfill this purpose. And sometimes those actions can be as simple as you know what, I need to meditate right now. You know what? I need to go outside for a break right now, just take it all in and come back. That's a very distinct action that can support your mental well-being in moments of high pressure situations. Just an example, right? Finally, the grit. The grit having the discipline, the emotional stamina to know that this wave of discouragement, challenges is just gonna bypass me. And I'm gonna stick to my purpose and move forward. See, that's grit. That's swag. And when you carry swag, you naturally feel great about yourself. And when you feel great about yourself, that's executive presence. And when you have that executive presence, guess what? You're confident, your decisions are better, and you influence others. So it all works in unison with each other, and that's power. And that's why I'm excited to hear everything that you're sharing today, bro, because it mirrors swag. We come from different places. Our path to get to the best outcome that we're helping our clients get to. It comes from different pathways, but it's really the same message.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yeah, it is, it absolutely is, and I love it. That means something very true about it, right? That's so important to me because, and just like you, Mo, we we've had to build it over time. Stuff didn't happen when I was in my 20s. No, it started to happen in my 20s, but when then it builds in your 20s and builds in your 30s and continues to build over time, and but the confidence grows, the habits get better. We're paying attention and we're committed to it, and we're committed to our why, everything improves. And it's not that life gets any easier, it's that we get better and more sturdy and we're able to handle the difficult things that life hands us, including in sales. But how can we how do we deal with life outside of sales and still have success within the business world? And that's another part of building ourselves and understanding that life happens, man. And we've got a job to do, which is the grid, I think. We've got a job to do no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah, yeah, you're spot on with that. And I also feel that we have to put a premium in developing self. It doesn't matter what industry you're in, because at the end of the day, everyone deals with similar judgments that you carry on self because we are human beings, right? We naturally acclimate to environments and patterns from childhood, from our family, from our socioeconomic status. All of these different filters shape our being and how we see the world, right? And if you continue to coast and autopilot, you start to lose control. And the personal development, professional development, coaching, counseling, whatever you want to call it, right? It really helps you create intentions on building your executive presence. Because as I said before, you are the number one executive of self first. And if you're not cultivating that, how can you possibly lead others at the highest level? How can you possibly

Confidence Built Through Hard Meetings

SPEAKER_01 20:20

be the best salesperson at the highest level if you're not locked in on executive presence and leading self first?

SPEAKER_02 20:31

100%, man. Yeah. We moved out to the country when I was a kid. I was put to work early on farms and that sort of thing. And that helped develop my work ethic. And then I did carpentry. I ended up going to college, and I was the only person in my family that ever graduated from college. And that's neither here nor there, but I'm just I'm saying that to illustrate that there was a time when I couldn't look people in the eye. I wasn't confident in having a conversation. I just wasn't there. And then I fast forward when I'm in my 30s and my 40s, and I'm having these big meetings on multi-multi-million dollar deals in downtown New York City. It's like, what am I doing here? There's this part of it, but I built myself intentionally, put myself in situations. I remember having literal panic attacks, losing my breath, feeling like I'm gonna pass out, going into a sales meeting. That sucks. But moving through that, as opposed to if I went to run and hide, I would just have it happen again the next time. But you move through it, you go into the meeting, you do the best you can, and then you learn something and you come out. And then I had that experience, which is the tough part sometimes, but it works.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yep. As we get ready to wrap this up, what lasting thoughts do you have?

SPEAKER_02 21:56

It's really easy. And I did this when I was a Young person, and this is what I want to teach young salespeople. I remember being in a place where I didn't have the confidence and I just didn't know what to do next. And it's really easy to say, oh, listen to these guys. You want to change everything all at once. And normally when a person wants to change everything all at once, they go out and they're a maniac for two weeks and then oh man, I give up. So change one thing at a time and commit to yourself. First get your why sorted out, but then start to change small things one at a time. Do what you can handle barely. Put yourself on the edge, but don't try

One Change At A Time

SPEAKER_02 22:43

to change too much. And over the course of time, your confidence will rise, your stress will fall away. Life will change for you. And I think that's a very important thing for young people to hear.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

That's great. I noticed a couple of books back there in the background. You want to tell us about your book before we get out of here?

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Sure. Thank you. Thanks, coach. So my first book is called When I Stop Fighting. And basically, it has a lot to do with what we've talked about today. It's my story. Stop fighting for yourself and not stop fighting for your life. It's stop fighting with yourself and stop fighting with your life. And I think there's a very important distinction there. And that was one of my mentors gave me that great advice a long time ago. And I've been carrying it with me ever since. And 40 years later, I wrote I wrote a book about it. So my second book. So the first one is when I stop fighting. The second one is when you stop fighting. And that's that's not a memoir necessarily has a lot of my stories in it as well, but it's more looking at where maybe we're off the track, looking at where am I addicted to things that I don't even know that I'm addicted to? Could it be comfort? Could it be attention? Could it be social media? Could it be places that I'm spending my life instead of spending my life in here? And learning to recognize that and understanding that if I keep, and just like you said, coach, if I keep in here my first priority and the work that I do, my entire life is going to change right in front of my eyes. And that's really what my second book is about.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

That's great. How can we find your books?

SPEAKER_02 24:28

The my books are both on Amazon. You can either type in my name, Daryl Dittmer, and Daryl Dittmer, D-I-T-T-M-E-R. Type in my name or the name of the books, When I Stop Fighting or When You Stop Fighting. And they're on Amazon. You can go to my website, which is DarylDittmer.com and learn more about me and the things that I do.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

That's great, man. I really do appreciate you being here dropping these wonderful nuggets that you dropped. Great conversation. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Thank you, coach. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me on, man. I enjoyed it as well.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

That's another rep in the inner arena. You didn't just listen, you leveled up your swag. Self-awareness, why power, aligned action, and grit. If this hit home, share it, subscribe to the Let's Think About It podcast, and log in with me on YouTube at Swag Coaching. Until next time, stay aware, lead with your why, act in alignment, and keep your grid strong.