Let's Think About It Podcast

Episode 68: Leading Self Under Pressure with S.W.A.G.

• Morice Mabry • Season 3 • Episode 68

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Episode Summary

When pressure spikes, even elite leaders can keep teams steady while quietly losing their center. This episode drills into the hardest skill in leadership: leading self under pressure. Coach Mo and co-host Algie Mo break down how the punk-ass inner critic hijacks decisions, why reactive energy erodes trust, and how to install a reliable “mental pause” you can access in real time. Using the S.W.A.G. Framework—Self-Awareness, Why-Power, Aligned Action, and Grit—you will learn to recognize catabolic states, reset your physiology with breath, and reenter the moment with clarity. Expect practical rituals like gratitude reps, micro-recovery, and pause-visualize-breathe sequences you can use at your desk or on the floor. Grab the S.W.A.G. Cheat Sheet: 

 www.innerarenaleadership.com/swag_cheatsheet 

and build the habit that makes pressure a proving ground.

 Key Takeaways

  • Name the voice: Spot the “inner critic” fast and shift to intention before it drives reactive decisions.
  • Install the pause: Use a quick pause-visualize-breathe sequence to reset energy in the moment.
  • Gratitude reps: Five one-second gratitude thoughts a day compound into calmer choices and better self-talk.
  • S.W.A.G. in action: Self-Awareness to assess state, Why-Power to anchor purpose, Aligned Action to move wisely, Grit to finish strong.
  • Recovery is a responsibility: Schedule simple micro-rituals that keep you trusted under stress.

#LeadershipDevelopment #SelfLeadership #Resilience #EnergyLeadership #BurnoutRecovery #ExecutiveCoaching #EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictManagement #HighPerformance #PersonalGrowth

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the Let's Take A Love It podcast, where we embark on a journey of helpfulness and personal growth. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through up promote the discussions that will inspire you to unlock your full potential. In each episode, we'll explore a wide range of topics from self-discovery and mindfulness to go-setting and achieving success. Together will challenge conventional thinking and I deep into the realm of possibility. Whether you're looking to find a journey in your personal or professional life, or taking strategies to overcome obstacles, if you're go-to-score or insight of conversation and practical advice to find a comfortable skill. And let's embark on this journey of comfort movement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you, and together we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the Let's Think About It Podcast. I'm your host, Coach Mo. And I'm here with my co-host, Algie Mo. What's up, brother?

SPEAKER_00:

What's up, Coach Mo? Just thank you, brother, for another fantastic opportunity to be with you as your co-host. I'm just so excited about this topic we got to talk about tonight. I think the leaders out there aren't ready for this. It's a topic that every leader needs to really explore the depths of it. And Coach Mo, take us through that.

SPEAKER_01:

Man, you see my banner now. I got the swag up there, right? Everything is tied to swag, self-awareness, why power, aligned action, and grit. And today, the topic that we're gonna tap into is difficulty leading self, leading self under pressure. And as we dive into this topic, I'm gonna remind people that I do have a swag cheat sheet. And as much as I talk about swag, self-awareness, why power, aligned action, and grit, I offer a cheat sheet so that you can use that as reference to dial into swag. And so with that being said, man, what are your thoughts around the difficulty in leading self under pressure? What comes up for you in this?

SPEAKER_00:

When I think about it, Mo, automatically I think about great leaders often possess remarkable abilities to motivate, right? To inspire and to guide people, right, through some horrific storms, right? As we talk about Martin Luther King, Gandhi, et cetera, et cetera. But yet most of those leaders silently struggle to lead themselves when pressure is on, right? I'm not suggesting Nelson Mandela or anything like that. What I'm trying to say is they hold their teams together, but privately they feel fragmented, which usually reveals a leader's deepest challenges, leading to sustain their inner sanctuary while carrying external responsibilities, right? What happens when the leaders are great at leading others but collapse privately under pressure? And I think that's what we're talking about. And how do you deal with those difficult issues? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

When I think of the word leadership, it comes back to what we're talking about, leading self first. I'm gonna get rid of the titles. And I know we have a lot of high achievers, high performers, managers, supervisors that tap into the show, and I'm really appreciative of that. But it's really about leading self first from my viewpoint, and we carry this expectation, particularly when you're a high achiever, high performer, you were raised through your leadership document, you were you came up a certain way, and so you created this vision of what that looks like for yourself. Most high performers do, they have just a way of doing things, right? But it gets hard and harder the more you promote up and grow in your family, your communities, all of these different things, all aspects, and the challenge becomes in these pivotal moments where you gotta make critical decisions and the pressures on how do you lead self? And what's the narrative of your thought process? How are you viewed within self? Is it the negative verbiage talk that you are constantly whispering that punk ass ignocritic is whispering to keep you small and keep you hesitant in making these decisions in those moments? What is that narrative that's happening in between our ears in those moments of decisions, regardless of the circumstance? And that is the battle. That's the battle. Because if you're viewing yourself through the lens of the co-signer, that punk ass inner critic, right? That's right, he's gonna keep you small, he's gonna keep you small, he's gonna keep you small, and keep you planted safe, and keep you very with this worrisome type feeling, or that you can't slow down, you have to push through, whatever that narrative is. But the true question around all of this is what is that, what's the story? What's the narrative of yourself that you tell to yourself in these moments of making decisions? And that's what I would like to explore when we talk about leading self under pressure.

SPEAKER_00:

Because well, mastering self under pressure requires some deep emotional, mental, and spiritual discipline, right? So certain leaders need to stay centered. Well, they continue to inspire others, right? If you're not centered, uh, we talked last week about learning to just pause. And as we say sometimes, that pause could be the difference between you check yourself before you wreck yourself. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

But Algie, tell me this though, bruv. Like through your experience, and let's call it what it is. Shit's hitting the fan, things is going haywire, you gotta make decisions like right now. How do you remember the pause in those moments? How did how do you lead yourself in those moments? What are what do you do personally?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, before I went into the arena, I would always understand that my energy has meaning and that my energy that I'm projecting speaks for itself too. Right. So for me, I always have to pause because I've been in those situations where I just reacted. And in those moments, I lost a little trust. And some of my coworkers, I was under a lot of pressure. And I didn't know how to check that. Right. And so going through those experiences, I've learned that my first reaction has become my habit. Right before I become that silly rabbit. And so I pause before I react. It gives me time to think. It gives me time to analyze where energy level I am. What kind of message do I want to deliver? Right? What kind of impact am I going to make in this time, in this crisis? Will I be something somebody that can be trusted and relied on? And that's what that pause does for me. And it's a natural thing for me now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's powerful. What's the difference from an internal state for you? Like when you naturally just react versus when you had the opportunity to pause and take a step back. How is it different between the two?

SPEAKER_00:

When you're under pressure, Mo, and you let's call it what it is, it's called stress. And I don't care who you are as a human being, when you're under stress, you're not at your best. And so that pause allows me to react more in a level three versus a level one or two, as we call calabalic versus anabolic energy. And I realize that if I'm at a level one or two, and or just say negative energy, right? That's the message I'm really communicating with. And I can't expect something positive to come out of something negative.

SPEAKER_01:

Can I share my experience on that? Thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_01:

I think for me, you're right. Stress is stress. Things happen. Everybody gets triggered. No one's immune to being triggered. And what I've learned about myself over the years and was that it's okay to be pissed off. It's just what I've learned is not to stay in that state for too long. And I acknowledge that for myself. I'm triggered, I'm pissed off right now. I just need a moment to be pissed off. And I give myself permission to be pissed off in that moment. And when you talk about this catabolic energy that levels one and two, level one is the victim state, and level two is the conflict state, right? And it just depends on how that energy shows up. Whereas the level one is more being a victim, why me? Why me? Why this keep happening to me? Carrying guilt. Level two is more so on the blaming side. It's your fault that this keeps happening. That's right. And but between the two or both of them, it brings your energy down. It's really draining. Depending on the intensity of the trigger and what you're experiencing in that moment, really helps define how that catabolic energy is going to show up for you.

SPEAKER_00:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_01:

And with me, I'm triggered in different ways. When it comes to this technology, my computer's running slow, man. I'm pissed off. We all go through the buffering. Why is the computer slow? Why the internet ain't we go through that, right? And sometimes it just triggers me when I'm in the middle of trying to get some high impact work done, and I'm going through that. So in that moment, this is an example of how I'm triggered and I'm pissed off, right? And then I go to that level one, is like, why is this happening? Why are you limiting me right now? I gotta get this done. I gotta get this stuff done. But but then this is the part of what we're talking about of leading self under pressure because I'm a high achiever and I'm trying to pump out some work as quickly as I can, and I'm getting the buffering on my internet for whatever reason. And so in that moment, I'm pissed off. Level one and two. One, two, I'm pissed off. I'm angry. That's conflict, that's level two. But then I dip to level one. Why does this keep happening to me in the moment when I'm trying to pump out these results that I need to pump out right now? Why now? Why me? Ah, and simultaneously, while I'm going through that, I consciously say, get it all out, bruh. If I could, sometimes I would throw the damn computer out the window. But I give myself that permission. It's okay, man. Be mad, be upset, be angry, but don't stay there. So I would go through that for maybe five years. Make sense. And then I pause what you say, then that kicks in for me. Okay. What do I have control over right now? And this is the whole swag piece. What do I have control over right now? We're not going to continue to blame ourselves. We're going to find an alternative approach. That's the self-awareness piece. That's right. I can't stop now because there's a bigger job that needs to be complete. That's the why behind it, right? The aligned action in itself is you know what, man, just calm down right now. You know what? That's right. Let's go jump on the Peloton for a minute, ride the bike while this buffering continues and it stops. So maybe if you ride the bike for five minutes and come back, the buffering would have stopped. That's an aligned action that I take. Or let me take my ass outside real quick and go for a wall, take the dunk out, get some air really quick. That's that's the aligned action piece. And then the grit is what? Nah, man, we nah, we're gonna figure this shit out. We're gonna figure this out. We're not gonna quit on this. We're not just gonna continue to pout and be upset. And you know what happens though? Get your swag. I get my swag back. I'm back on, I'm back on the grid, and then things start working out. That's what I mean by the swag framework. But more importantly, that's a way of leading yourself under pressure. Because for me, I gave myself permission to be upset in that moment. But I said also said, don't stay there, don't stay there. But I think that's really critical in this conversation because some people don't know what they don't know, and it's their habit to just be to be angry, that's grudges. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, more than know what you mean, Mo, and I'm gonna give you an example of that. And that's beautiful that uh, like you said, you could be angry for a moment, right? And then let that go, right? But what happens when you're on the call center, right? And you're on the floor, right? And there's questions everywhere as they say, hey, I got a quick question, knowing there's no such thing, right? And so you're on stage, you can't get angry, you can't get upset. So how do you resolve it? And for me, I resolved it by uh understanding those levels of energy, although I didn't know it quite as much as I do now as I did back then, but I would have understand that there's there are certain employees that are positive, and there are certain negative people that just draw the all the energy out of here. So I would consciously throughout the call center have what I call gas stations. These are my filling stations because hey, these quick questions, taking soup calls, you're on the floor trying to perform, and you're going over here to answer that question. Sometimes you don't have time to pause. Right. Because you're being monitored and watched, and you're a leader. And in those moments, like I said, I kept my energy up by I knew there was some positivity. I go over here and talk to Susie and back a little joke, and we'd laugh. And I've got the next one. Oh, you got a quick question? I'm right here one in. So it kept my energy at a certain level, understanding where I can get recharged.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That's powerful, actually, bro.

SPEAKER_01:

And energy, or I would say enthusiasm, I think they go hand in hand together, but it's one of my values, particularly in the workplace and centered around coaching, because that enthusiasm drives my energy. So I love that. And I also want to add that when you can effectively practice the swag concept framework, and you're in those pressure moments, like you were just describing, like on the floor, and you're a leader and you don't have time to pause. Self-awareness. There's always time to pause, bro. It's called mental pause.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, come on, wait a minute. You're gonna have to back that one up. Tell me again. Come on, wait a minute. You can't just slip that in. Come on, you got to go a little deeper.

SPEAKER_01:

Got the word enthusiasm, but you're gonna have to go a little deeper on this one, bro. Mental pauses. So you got to get the reps in first. You got to get the reps in on the swag concept for yourself, not necessarily saying to the audience you need to go memorize swag and things like that, but you got to create a better habit in managing those pauses for yourself. Okay. Learning how to, when things hit the fan, learning how to just pause for a minute, take some deep breaths, reflect, visualize what that next move is going to be for you, and then move forward. And what I meant by when things are hitting the fan to be able to get a mental pause in, that's because you've generated a habit of consistently pausing throughout the day, reflecting. And with that habit, while there's chaos happening, you can still mentally pause in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of conversations that's happening, in the midst of different asks that are happening and demands that are requested upon you in those moments, because you've been repping up, getting those reps in, and that's what we train about, train for in the inner arena, get those mental reps in on how do you lead under pressure. And so when you generate the habit, and I was just telling somebody this, man. I was just telling somebody this, and it was one of my clients, and we were talking about I think we talked a little bit about this, and oh, Algie, the gratitude thoughts. With the gratitude thoughts, that really starts to help create abundance in the mindset.

SPEAKER_00:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_01:

And it does take a little work to remember the gratitude thoughts, but it's easiest to do nothing, it's easiest for the mindset to get negativity and all of that. But what really starts to help is if you I think I was telling the client, if you can do gratitude thoughts every time you go into the bathroom, every time you go into the kitchen, right? And people heard me say this before, but I'm gonna reiterate it because it's so powerful and it's so simple, but we forget it. We forget to do it. And the the rep is every time you go into the bathroom, have a gratitude thought. Let's say you go to the bathroom five times a day. It takes one second to have a gratitude thought. Okay? So that's five times going to the restroom in a day. That's five seconds of gratitude thought. Let's just be on the easy going side and say we do it five days out of the week. That's 25 gratitude thoughts in a week's time that covers about 25 seconds. How many hours is in a week, man? That is coach mo. I think how many hours is in a week, bro? 24 times seven, 168 hours in a week. And I'm telling my client, can you commit to 25 seconds in a week to have a gratitude talk? And then I said for a month. That's the bare minimum. Five seconds a day, five days a week for one month. Okay, and then tell me how you feel after that. There's so much power in that, bro. People underestimate the power of gratitude, and the feedback that I've received of my clients doing this. Oh, for some reason, the stuff that was bothering me is just not bothering me as much anymore. That's right. It's it's it's just disappearing a little bit. That's right. And I'm like, why do you think that is? I think it has something to do with those gratitude thoughts. And then here's the other powerful thing about it, because this is the reps that I'm talking about. These are the reps that I'm talking about. By day two or day three, you're gonna forget, right? You're gonna forget. Then you're gonna remember that you forgot.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

And when you remember that you forgot, guess what you do? You have a gratitude thought in that moment to make up for the last two times you missed in the back going to the bathroom. Right. But that's the habit that you want. That's the habit that you want. And so now, with the gratitude thought, right, you're naturally starting to feel better. You've you're naturally feeling better about yourself just because of the gratitude. You got a lot of stuff coming at you. Now you're incorporating, putting consciousness around it a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00:

People around you are smiling.

SPEAKER_01:

It's just starting to create better habits for you, right? Because let's not forget that punk ass inner critic is still around.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Still around, and he's gonna continue to try to talk you out of it.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's the power that we start to gain from ourselves, and you've just you're feeling better, bro. That's it's a habit, right? It's a habit, and so when these pressure situations happen, the habit kicks in automatic response. And that automatic response may not necessarily be, I need to have a gratitude thought. Let me pause.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. Just a minute. But you know what it also reveals to me, Mo, and I appreciate you providing that, because as leaders, is man, when you pause like that and you consciously do that, right? Wonder if you were able to build recovery rituals, same like that. Wonder if you were to treat rest and restoration as leadership responsibilities, right? And that you carve, I'm gonna carve in my calendar at least maybe once a week, that I'm gonna ride my bike because I like that idea. I'm gonna carve in my calendar, I'm gonna build recovery rituals, and I'm going to practice that so that way I'm recovering and I'll be at my best at all times. And how powerful is that though? It's very if you let peace become your power and your purpose. You know, yeah. Let me say this, Mo What I've learned is that the greatest leaders don't avoid storms, they learn to master themselves in order to be at work.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm gonna I'm gonna take it to athletics. Let's go hoop. And you say the greatest leaders master selves, right? On the NBA court. Let's go there. High pressure moments, game seven, down to twenty seconds left, you on the free throw line with a chance to tie the ball game. Pressure, the pressure zone. What do these players at the free throw line do? What do they do?

SPEAKER_00:

They step up to the plate and they eat fear for this opportunity they've been practicing all their lives of this moment, it's moment time, and they're ready for this because that's a lot of pressure, Mo.

SPEAKER_01:

What are they doing in that pressure at the line?

SPEAKER_00:

Self-awareness. They gotta they have to get a little bit of a swag. Character is revealed at that moment. When I think about you're talking about being on the court, the thing that comes to my mind is Michael Jordan, right? And how he shot that free throw with his eyes closed and said, Welcome to the NBA. He showed him what he does in pressure. I eat it like breakfast because he's had rep after rep and he's aware he has his swag.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely, bro. But I'm gonna I'm gonna go even simpler than that. They pause, they take a deep breath. They visualize the ball going in the basket. On the golf course. Same thing. He's about to hit the drive. He paused, he takes it, he looks where he's gonna hit the ball, he takes a breath, steps up to the T. Gathers himself, visualize how and where that ball is gonna go. All athletes do it. The best. So if they do it, and you're an exceptional leader, why don't you do it for yourself? That's what I'm saying. Your pressure moments may not be on a basketball court, but it's on the call center floor. Those are pressure moments. You're an exceptional leader. Where's your paw?

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Because that's what the greats do.

SPEAKER_00:

So it doesn't matter where you are, what matters is who you are. It's not biological, it's geographical. That's right. And that's what great leaders do. They prepare for those moments, Mo. They have their swag and that grit that keeps them going. But you're right, the first part of that is always that breathe.

SPEAKER_01:

Breathe. When you're nervous, when you afraid, breathe, calm down, take a deep breath, take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_00:

You're gonna do this, you're gonna be already, you're gonna make it.

SPEAKER_01:

When fear, anxiety, all of that's around. Pause, take a deep breath, take a deep breath. You got this, that's right. You got this, that's right, you got this, and when you are able to consistently do that, a swag all day, every day, all day, every day, and that's what it's about, and learning how you lead yourself, and everybody's different, and maybe you know that calmness and teaching you that for yourself, it's going for walks, maybe it's listening to music, other podcasts, audio books, going for a drive, but you have to discover that for yourself, and when you discover Discover that for yourself and it makes you feel good. Swag is present. And then you have to learn how to do more of it and make that make that a habit. And when you learn to do that, you become a very powerful individual.

SPEAKER_00:

That is correct.

SPEAKER_01:

And the best leader of self possible. And that's just a great place to be. That's correct.

SPEAKER_00:

And the beauty of it is when you have that swag, well, it doesn't matter where you are, whether you're at job, whether you're at home, whether you're in the grocery store, that moment to pause is always there. And self-awareness is the key. Absolutely. And you be it forward. Imagine that. Once you get your swag, and once you understand all of the self-awareness, then the bottom line is how do you be it forward? How do you consistently understand how to pause? Just free. I appreciate you, brother. This was a good talk, man. Likewise, brother. So until next time. So when pressure hits, thank you for that kind reminder, Mo. You know, that having swag is the best way to go about and living the being the best that you could possibly be, and understanding that all you have to do is pause. Just that simple.

SPEAKER_01:

That's it. There's so much power in that. And it comes back to like we talked about today, leading self under pressure. And when you can pause, reflect, visualize, breathe, you put yourself back in a good place. Have a good one, brother. Thank you. Thank you for joining me in this episode of Let's Think About It. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Coach Mo Coaching or LinkedIn at Maurice Mabry. Or visit my website at Mauricemabry.com for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it. Together, we're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you. So thank you, and I'll see you in our next episode.