Let's Think About It Podcast

Episode 67: Inner Critic vs. Intuition: How Leaders Win Tough Talks

• Morice Mabry • Season 3 • Episode 67

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Episode Summary

Leaders don’t burn out from hard work—they burn out from avoiding the conversations that matter. In this episode, Coach Mo and co-host Algie Mosley unpack the “war within” that fuels conflict avoidance: the inner critic versus intuition. You’ll learn how fear, dressed up as logic, hijacks judgment and keeps teams stuck, and how to shift into your inner coach to address issues with clarity and care. Using the S.W.A.G.™ framework—Self-Awareness, Why-Power, Aligned Action, and Grit—you’ll get a simple, repeatable way to pause, discern the right voice, and move decisively. Real leadership stories show how candid dialogue transforms performance, culture, and trust. If difficult conversations drain your energy, this playbook will help you reset, speak up, and lead yourself first.

Key Takeaways

  • Spot the imposter: The inner critic sounds logical but runs on fear and past experiences; intuition is quiet, values-based, and future-oriented.
  • Pause = power: A deliberate pause is the aligned action that tames reactivity and restores choice.
  • Coach, don’t corner: Enter tough talks with curiosity and care; seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
  • Reframe the risk: Avoidance carries higher costs than candor—clarity accelerates growth, trust, and performance.
  • Run the S.W.A.G. check: Self-Awareness (name the voice), Why-Power (state the purpose), Aligned Action (plan the approach), Grit (follow through consistently).
SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to the Lux Tick of the Podcast where we and Welcome to joining the awfulness and personal world. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through up promoting discussion that will inspire you to unlock your full potential in each episode. We'll explore any range of topics. Together, it's conventional thinking and ideas of possibility. Whether you're looking to find a functional life or strategy to overcome up to go for it, I think, and practical journey of movement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you. And together, we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the Let's Think About A podcast. I'm your host, Coach Mo. And I'm here with my co-host, Algie Mosley. Algie Moe, what's up? What's going on, Coach Mo and hey Mo. How's your week going, brother?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, week going good, brother. I can't complain. It's hump day, right? So it's a Wednesday. Work is good. Life is good. I can't complain, brother.

SPEAKER_02:

A lot of leaders, high achievers listen to this podcast. And one of the things that resonates with me around the inner critic is conflict avoidance, avoidance of difficult conversations. And really being in that space where I spend a lot of time coaching leaders, that's one of the top things that resonates is avoiding difficult conversations, conflict avoidance. And the way that I see it is they're already trying to project out the worst case scenario of what will potentially happen in a conversation. That worst case scenario creates this picture that's scary as hell, and they don't want to go down that lane. So they avoid it. That's where that punked ass inner critic is highly present because it's an assumption. It's an assumption that if I have this conversation with XYZ, it's not going to go well because of my past experience with this person.

SPEAKER_03:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

And you generate this nervousness, these doubtful type feelings that makes you hesitant. The fact that you're hesitant in that moment, that inner critic validates.

SPEAKER_01:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

He's writing shotgun on it to tell you, nah, brother, you do that, you do that, it's gonna be all bad. That's what he does.

SPEAKER_03:

You're gonna open up a can of worms.

SPEAKER_02:

Exactly, exactly. You know, what's your perspective on that?

SPEAKER_03:

It's very clear to me, Mo. There are certain conversations that leaders have to have. It depends upon the people they lead, right? And certain conversations just have to be had. I can remember one time when I first got into management, and there was this employee, right? And management was a little bit intimidated with her, and they just were scared to give her certain types of feedback. They were just intimidated that she was gonna go off or she was gonna take that feedback, or maybe she might even go take it to HR.

SPEAKER_01:

But I was given that task, Mo. And I had to have the conversation.

SPEAKER_03:

And Mo, when we had that conversation and that dialogue, man, she just lit up. She says, Really? Really? How come nobody didn't tell me? Exactly. How come nobody didn't tell me this? You mean all I had to do was XYZ? And I said, Absolutely. And Mo after six months, she became part of the management team.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, bro. I got a similar story. So I was hired in this one place, right? Came in, new manager, and everyone was telling me about this particular employee. Everybody had to put their two cents in to prepare me for this employee, right? They were telling me this employee was this, they were that, and this and that, right? And my approach to leadership is I have to form my own judgments and my own ideology process or whatnot, and how I'm gonna navigate this. Let me capture my own information, right? So they're telling me all of these bad things about this employee, right? And you gotta be careful, Mo. You gotta watch out for this person. I was like, thank you for your input. I really appreciate it, but I got this, right? So I had this conversation with this employee, right? And I was asking her, how do you perceive yourself and the work that you're doing here? I'm doing just fine. I think everything is great. I'm doing absolutely awesome. But yet the managers, other managers are telling me she don't do her job, she don't do this, and don't do all of this stuff. So I'm like, I'm instantly thinking, okay, there's a disconnect here. Somebody's lying.

SPEAKER_01:

I need a little bit more data.

SPEAKER_02:

So the reality is other managers had issues with this person. They avoided the conversations with her. So she never knew. She had no idea, bro, that she was being perceived this way by the management team, right? So, in all, she came under my wing. I said, you know what? As we move forward, you're good with me. And this is the opportunity to set your new path, whatever you want that to be, right? Bro, I exposed so much of her outstanding talents. Wow. People were coming up to me as what did you do? How how come is I say I talk to her? That's what I do. I talk to her, I ask her questions, and that's the thing, man. When we when I say leadership, though, leading self. That's what I mean. Because this leadership thing, it applies in your home life too. Because you have to have difficult conversations with your wife, your daughter, your kids. It doesn't matter. Difficult conversations come up all over the place, and you have to be able to lead self first in order to navigate that. And when that punk ass inner critic is present, it's talking you, it's talking you out of the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_01:

And nah, man, nah.

SPEAKER_03:

Not only if it's camouflage in it, it's also fulfilling your self, what do they call selective perception? So not only do you hear all this information from other managers and supervisors, but now you look to fulfill that reality. Right. And now your perceptions are even off. You thought Mary was gone and gone for the day, but she was in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01:

Let me ask you this though. And we talk a lot about the inner critic. What is the difference between the inner critic and your intuition?

SPEAKER_03:

That's a very deep thought. Because when I think about the inner critic, I just think about uh it's like a voice of fear. It ain't really on my side, right? It's like the inner critic is like a the shadow that stands between you and your potential, right? It whispers to you. It's it, you're not good enough, you're too old. Those other people are more talented than you, right? I want to say it's like fear dressed in logic. It sounds good, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Very believable.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. But intuition, intuition to me, intuition is that's that voice of truth. Um where it doesn't really shout at you, it just whispers gently. And it says, This just feels right. The critic speaks from the past, situations and circumstances, like we were talking about your employee that got all that feedback, right? Intuition speaks from wisdom, right? It doesn't need proof, right? It's basically God's way of confirming an alignment before you even have words to explain it. It just flows, right? It just feels right. With that inner critic, there's questioning, there's doubt.

SPEAKER_02:

And what the inner critic actually does is distract you away from your intuition. Remember, we're a little old school, but we grew up on Looney Tunes all day, right? Saturday morning, get up, watch the loony tunes. Remember Daffy Duck? Yeah, and this is crazy when I think about it, and it was taking us even back then, the decision process in cartoons of what the characters have to make. So Daffy Duck would be trying to make a decision, and then you have the devil, Daffy Duck pop up on his shoulder, and then the devil was like, Who gives a shit? You need to do this, and trying to sleeze your way into it, and then the angel is the is the side of reason. Think about this. That's not the right thing to do, that type of thing, right? That's right. And so, from a fun standpoint, that's what happens in our decision-making process, right? You got that little devil mo on one shoulder, and then on the right shoulder, you got the angel mo, right? I call it the punk ass inner critic on one shoulder and my inner coach on the other shoulder.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow, very good.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a high defightment, right? But that inner critic is trying to distract me away from the truth because that's what he does. It's all logic based. And like you said, with intuition, it's faith-driven.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Spirit, that's right, spirit, that's right, and trust in the spirit and the faith. That's right. And with faith, there's a lot of unseen. That's right.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

There's a lot of things that's working that we can't see in that moment.

SPEAKER_01:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

And the inner critic, that punk ass inner critic.

SPEAKER_01:

Talk about him, coach. There you go again.

SPEAKER_02:

He's trying he tries to discredit the unseen because you're not seeing it in the moment. That's right. And so he's coming with this logic. That's right, it's not gonna happen because in the past it hasn't happened. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it creates this narrative all based on logic and past experiences, like you said. That's right. It's like living in the past.

SPEAKER_01:

And when you're distracted by the inner critic, you miss the opportunities of our intuition that's trying to guide us in those pivotal moments.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you have this gut feeling, you have this sensation that's telling you this is the right thing to do, right?

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

But the inner critic is making all of this noise, all of this different logic to discredit the good feeling that you have for the decision that you need to make. That's correct. Because the inner critic is focused on a past, you have a vision of the past of a previous experience, and you can see it. And the inner critic is trying to keep you on that frame of reference while the intuition is saying, nah, man, trust me. That's right. Trust me on this. That's right. I got you. That's right. I can see it. That's right. You can't see it, but I see it.

SPEAKER_03:

Just roll with me. Just roll with me. Mo, it reminds me of that window right behind you. I know I can see it, but you can't see it. But freedom lies ahead of me.

SPEAKER_02:

It's easy to see that picture of the past and the pain that we experienced to generate the fear to not go forward.

SPEAKER_03:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

The inner critic shotgun to validate that. And he camouflages or she camouflages himself or herself to sound like it's your voice of reasoning.

SPEAKER_03:

Logical reasoning. Well, that hits home to a point, right? Because you have to learn to discern between the two. That good, that bad, that you know, good daffy, bad daffy, right? And it's almost like the critic reacts. The critic can criticize, but intuition clarifies. That's what you did with your let me clarify. Let me have my own intuition, right? Let me utilize my own guiding faith to make that discernment. And in doing so, look at what the benefit that you got and that employee.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. And here's the other thing. There's feelings attached to that. What we're talking about. There's feelings attached to that.

SPEAKER_01:

Because when an inner critic is chirping loud, there's nervousness, there's anxiety, there's fear, there's low self-esteem.

SPEAKER_02:

In those moments, though, not you per se as a whole, right, but in those moments when the inner critic is highly present and chirping loud, those are the typical feelings that you that you feel.

SPEAKER_01:

Right?

SPEAKER_03:

That's correct.

SPEAKER_02:

When there's faith to say the inner crit excuse me, the intuition side, your inner coach side, and you're a faith-driven individual per this situation, for the specific situation.

SPEAKER_01:

What is that feeling like? I'll tell you what that feeling is like.

SPEAKER_02:

You feel fluent, you feel abundant, you feel empowered, you feel confident, you feel love, you feel joy, you feel appreciation. All of those things are present. Because that's faith. In order for the inner critic to really have a voice, he has to distract you away from that.

SPEAKER_03:

Isn't that the truth?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. Just look at the politics and the things that's happening and the type of fear that creates that raises the inner critic to make you think certain things that you need to do because XYZ is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03:

You know what I call that? What I call it the war within. I know you've been waiting for it, but this is how I see it. And I said it a long time ago, but if you want to go to war, here's what you do take a look in the mirror because the enemy's you. It's not the world that breaks your stride, but the whispers of doubt that lives inside. The battle unseen, yet loud in your head, between the critic's fear and intuition's thread. One voice says stop, the other says go. One feeds your ego, the other feeds your soul. One builds your prison with words untrue, the other reminds you of what God can do. Your mirror isn't the glass, it's truth reflecting light. The war you fight inside determines if you'll rise or hide. So before you decide, pause and begin anew. For victory's not out there.

SPEAKER_01:

It's waiting deep inside of you. Damn. Mic drop yet again. The war within, the inner critic, bro.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, you just put the explanation point on everything that we were talking about with that poem.

SPEAKER_03:

That's it, brother. Because remember, the victory is not out there, the victory's deep inside of you. And when you're able to get that good side of that information, when you're able to see that employee with a good set of eyes, right? Not all of those that's been filtered from conversations here and there, but just giving someone an opportunity to succeed. You have to deal with the war with the end to make those good decisions.

SPEAKER_02:

This goes back to one of my slogans that I always say the best way is to get out of your own way. That's the best way because it's this battle, it's this war against self. And a lot of times we don't know that we're even at war with ourselves when we're on idle pilot in war with ourselves, because this is where that term self-sabotage comes into play.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. It's like the voice you feed becomes the life you live.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, brother. And we wonder in certain areas of our lives why we can't move past what we're dealing with. Unconsciousness because we self-sabotage and not knowing we're doing it. And hopefully people continue to listen to us because we're putting awareness on that punk ass and a critic. That critic. That's what it wants to do. It wants you to self-sabotage. Because you see, God, and I'm not trying to get all spiritual, he wants us, or whatever, whoever you believe, the universe, whatever, wants you to be the best version of you, the inner critic, the sole purpose to discredit that, whatever it is, make it harder, make you think about it on the simplest form. Bro, this is funny because I was thinking about this for myself. I love fantasy football. I do. That's my game. This is how simple the inner critic can just mess with you in that light. So I got my lineup. I already know I play football, follow football the whole nine. So I got my lineup all set up and everything like that. And the inner critic shows up. Hey man, you sure you want to start that player? The experts say, stop. Now, when I set my lineup, I did it based on wisdom and my intuition.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

That's what I did. So then Mr. Inner Critic, that punk ass inner critic, he shows up. Hey Coach Mo. Hey man, this player is projected to do better than the player that you have in a lineup. But my intuition says, you know what? No, I'm gonna start this player, right? Whatever, whatever. I'm just I just got the feeling this is the right move to do. So then what I do is I go start researching. I start looking at all the experts and what they said. And the inner critic said, Yeah, this player should be start in your lineup opposed to the one that you have in there. So guess what I did?

SPEAKER_01:

I listened to the inner critic, right? Oh, last minute, I changed my roster. No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, the person that I took out of my lineup actually scored more points than the person that I put in my lineup because I listened to the inner critic. And then the other part of it was it was a player that I was thinking about picking up off the waiver wire. And the inner critic was like, nah, you should just wait. Don't do that. We need to be cautious about this. And what happens if you drop this player and somebody picks him up? Then that player goes off. You're gonna be kicking yourself. Let's just wait. But my intuition was telling me, drop this and go pick up that player. So, point number two, I waited, listen to my inner critic, and guess what? That person that was on the waiver wire that I did not pick up, and I let somebody else pick them up, no, goes off, has a great game. And then my player that I was holding off on scored zero points for me. That's what the inner critic does. That's what it does, and then it's consistently working you, that's right. All little aspects of everything that you do. That's right. And guess what I was doing afterwards? I said, damn, I should have just stuck with my decision. Damn, I should have just stuck with my gut.

SPEAKER_00:

You ever say that to yourself?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah. If I had only listened, you know what? I'm gonna take you because it just reminded me when you were talking about that. It reminded me of when we were talking about holding employees accountable. Oh, I had just started, it was my first position in management. And for me, I read a lot, and I was given this group of employees that were just it was crazy, a lot of non-accountability. And so there had been employees there that had been there for years, that had certain expectations and expected certain privileges. There were employees that were new, right? And so I was given this task to deal with all these employees. It was a beautiful challenge for me because in those challenges, it forces you to become better. And so each and every time I poured into me, right? Because that's my set of shoes. And through that, the team started changing. I found out how to feng shui the work environment for productivity and all this stuff. And then one day, one of my employees came up to me. He came running up to me. Algae, algae, I finally get it. I finally get it. I get your management style. And I says, What do you mean you get my management style? What are you talking about? He said, It's all in your name. Algae. A stands for accountability, leads to greatness in everyone. As he was enjoying the successes that our team were having as people were being promoted in different positions. And at first it was a big challenge, but when he started seeing the successes, he saw it in my name.

unknown:

Wow.

SPEAKER_03:

Accountability leads to greatness in everyone. So having those conversations is critical, not only to you, the individual, the organization, but to the people you serve. Absolutely. And that's what I was going to tell you. The people, the reason why they come to work. Know your people's peoples. And man, it just created an environment of success by having those hard conversations. But I had those hard conversations with non-judgment, but I came to the table with love. I came to seek to understand rather than being understood.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. And in those situations where the leader has the courage to have these conversations, right? Sometimes they don't really know how to have the conversation because they're going in, they need to be heard. It's about me. I need to tell them what they need to do and how they're going to do it. And that still keeps the resistance up. And I like what you said. We're talking about a lot of what this inner critic does. And we're creating awareness for people to understand the difference between the inner critic versus your intuition or the inner critic versus the inner coach. But the question really is when that inner critic does show up and you do have the awareness that it's present, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01:

What do you do?

SPEAKER_02:

How do you tame it? That's what I wanted to ask you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. The first thing I do, Mo is I pause for a moment and I recognize who is who I'm speaking to. I I have to realize who am I speaking to? And if it's that other side, uh what is it? Let's just keep it real. If it's the devil, and I'm gonna say negative energy, I'm gonna get married. She married, they told me she did this, I'm gonna make sure I'm the boss now. Or I can come at it with the other side that says, I'm gonna give her an opportunity. I don't care what they say, I'm gonna come in with the angel side of me. How can I help you succeed? Right. And that becomes the battle, right? But for me, it's faith every time because I know what that other side wants to do, and the difference between that other voice, right? Which is critic and judgment, which is a lack of lovement, right? I check myself before I wreck myself.

SPEAKER_02:

Man, and you know what you have for yourself in that moment when you're able to do that, you know what you have. Do I have swag? You got swag, brother. That's right. You got swag, my brother. Self-awareness, why power, aligned action, and grit.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Exactly. You're such a great pupil. If I rule the world.

SPEAKER_02:

But honestly, though, that's serious, though, because when you're able to pause and do what you just said, you're taming the critic all day, every day. And when the critic is tamed, you start to see possibilities in the moment of outcomes that you want to achieve. That's self-awareness one-on-one right there. And when you're pausing, you're seeking understanding for your purpose.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

You're pausing for purpose. Like, how am I gonna get through this? What's the why here? The aligned action is the pause.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right, that's right. The aligned action is the pause.

SPEAKER_02:

And then the grit is the diligence that you have within yourself to consistently pause because you are aware how to tame your inner critic.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

When you come from that space, that swag, brother. That swag, that's what you described.

SPEAKER_03:

And you know where I got that swag, Mo? Like the old there's a song, but it songs different. But the song says, I got it from my mama. But for me, I am my mother's heart living outside of her. Right. That's right. Because my mother taught me how to be it, right? As we talk about be it forward, right? She taught me how to believe in myself. She taught me how to empower my mind, how to inspire others so that I might be able to transform my future. So if you're able to be it, then you just move forward with it, Mo. That's right. And to be honest with you, Mo, when you're able to move forward with swag, ain't no stopping us now.

SPEAKER_02:

Ain't no stopping us now. Ain't never no stopping us, brother. So as we get ready to close out, man, this is another powerful conversation. What's some lasting thoughts that you have for the audience today?

SPEAKER_03:

My lasting thoughts as it surrounds this mo is really simple, right? As we talked about the inner critic, and we talked about intuition, right? And good versus evil per se, and all that other good stuff. But accountability begins with holding yourself accountable, right? Which voice are you going to obey? And when you'd obey that voice, it's very simple. I think it's Proverbs 23:7. For what a man think is in his heart, so is he.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. That's right. I want to add this.

SPEAKER_02:

There's no finish line to the stuff that we're talking about. The inner critic is working 24-7 nonstop. No matter how much personal development that you put into your consciousness, the inner critic is still working over time to break through and distract you.

SPEAKER_01:

I deal with it every day, every day.

SPEAKER_02:

And it comes up in just different aspects of our lives, whether small, like I talked about with fantasy football or something big with major decisions that needs to be made. Difficult conversations that have to be had. The inner critic is always trying to find a way to work you and get you off your game. And today was about putting awareness, more awareness on understanding really not just conflict avoidance, but truly understanding the difference between the inner critic and intuition.

SPEAKER_01:

And I appreciate you, brother.

SPEAKER_02:

Be a four half-year.

SPEAKER_03:

Hey, I do want to say one thing, and I want to remind our audience, because it was very important the ending of that poem, to understand that fear stands for false evidence appearing real. And the last phrase of that poem goes your mirror isn't glass, it's truth reflecting light. The war you fight inside determines if you'll rise or you will hide. So before you decide, pause and begin anew. For victory is not out there. I love and appreciate you too, brother.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you for joining me in this episode of Let's Think About It. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Coach Mo Coaching or LinkedIn at Maurice Mavrie. Or visit my website at Mauricemabry.com for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it. Together, we're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you. So thank you, and I'll see you in our next episode.