Let's Think About It Podcast

Episode 55: How Intentional Leaders Overcome Fear and Build Influence

• Morice Mabry • Season 2 • Episode 55

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Episode Summary

What’s really holding high-achieving leaders back from reaching their next level? In this powerful conversation, Coach Mo sits down with executive coach and strategist Daphne Valcin to unpack the real barriers—like fear, limiting beliefs, and the inner critic—that derail even the most driven professionals. From her own vulnerable story of launching a coaching business to guiding clients toward six-figure promotions, Daphne shares how intention, emotional intelligence, and aligned action create lasting influence. Whether you're a leader battling doubt or building your internal brand, this episode offers a blueprint to lead with clarity and confidence.

🔑 Key Takeaways

  • Problem-Solve Your Fear: Daphne shares how she overcame early business fears by taking action and shifting her mindset—not just waiting to feel “ready.”
  • Build Influence from the Inside Out: Leaders must first align with their values and intentions before they can build credibility and relationships that fuel promotions.
  • EQ Drives ROI: Emotional intelligence isn’t optional—it’s a core driver of engagement, retention, and leadership growth.
  • Conflict Often Masks System Gaps: What looks like team tension is often rooted in unmet expectations or unclear roles—fix the system, reduce the friction.
  • The PACT Method: Daphne’s agency uses a 4-part framework—Program development, Assessments, Coaching, and Training—to develop high-impact, emotionally aware leaders.



Speaker 1:

Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we embark on a journey of thoughtfulness and personal growth. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through thought-promoting discussions that will inspire you to unlock your full potential. In each episode, we'll explore a wide range of topics, from self-discovery and mindfulness to goal-setting and achieving success. Together, we'll challenge conventional thinking and dive deep into the realms of possibility. Whether you're looking to find clarity in your personal or professional life, or seeking strategies to overcome obstacles, this podcast is your go-to source for insightful conversations and practical advice. So find a comfortable spot, chill and let's embark on this journey of self-improvement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you, and together we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the let's Speak About it podcast. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here with another amazing guest, and her name is Daphne Valson. Daphne, my sister.

Speaker 2:

How are you?

Speaker 1:

Man, I'm awesome. I'm here in Sacramento. We got sunshine. It's projected to be 86 degrees, so I'm really happy that we got this nice sunshine going on. What part of the country are you in?

Speaker 2:

I'm in Austell, Georgia, right outside of Atlanta, Georgia.

Speaker 1:

The ATL, born and raised.

Speaker 2:

No, I'm actually from Miami, florida, where it's usually warm or hot. Now in Atlanta, georgia, since 2021, where we see the seasons now.

Speaker 1:

OK, OK. I have not touched foot in the ATL yet. What's one thing that I should know about ATL? What would you say is the best thing about being in Atlanta? What would you say is the best?

Speaker 2:

thing about being in Atlanta I feel like, for those who like hiking and nature and mountains and things like that, I feel this area. What I've discovered is that it is about two to three hours from a number of different amazing places to hike in Georgia and to explore, and there's actually a number of places even in the city that are like some beautiful parks to explore. So that's something that you may not be able to find out easily or not hear about very much, but is one of the perks of living in this area.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so tell my audience who you are, what you do and the type of value that you bring.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So I am Daphne Valson. I'm CEO of Valson Strategic Solutions. I've had my own business for about 11 years now and I support high potential leaders in increasing their influence up down and across their organizations, especially as it relates to communication, collaboration, conflict, connection, confidence all the seeds when it comes to the kinds of leaders that we support. This might be an organization that has a team that maybe isn't meeting their quarterly goals or not as productive as possible, or is experiencing some communication challenges or opportunities for the team to really get to know one another better and to be able to move forward. Or it could be an executive leader who knows that they're not operating at their fullest potential and who maybe needs some thought, partnership around productivity or communication or effective collaboration or confidence, or even how they are planning their next steps or even how they are planning their next steps. So those are some of the things that we do, and within our organization, we've been able to help a number of teams over 400 individual clients in addition to over 200 teams in all these years.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing, that's great, and you talk so confidently and I can hear all the success that you're having. So congratulations on that front. But I want to go here. Take me through the journey. How did you arrive at leadership, coaching, consulting, how did this happen?

Speaker 2:

Sure, my undergraduate degree is in public relations and my master's degree is actually in education. Much of my experience has been around project management, around managing programs and creating programs in community mobilization. Much of my experience has to do with the idea of being able to tap into the potential of people and their ideas. The education side allows me to deliver in ways that are engaging. Engaging, understand how people learn when it comes to training or coaching, like how to make sure that I'm checking for understanding with whatever it is that I'm delivering or holding people accountable to do. And then the public relations side is understanding that people need to have a vision. They need to have values that are moving forward. Those values need to be apparent in their online brand, in their in-person brand and how they're communicating with one another. And knowing the psychology of how people work and what helps them to all feel valued and validated and interested in whatever is happening. So, basically, when I was doing my thing, I was a single woman and, on my way to get my MBA, took my GMAT three times until I got the score I wanted. And I did get my thing. I was a single woman and, on my way to get my MBA, took my GMAT three times until I got the score I wanted. And I did get that score. I was so happy and at the same time, fell in love during those months of working through all the things you need to do when you want to get an MBA, so the networking, the taking a capital in class, all kinds of things I was doing. So I realized, in falling in love with my husband, that I didn't think it was going to be a good idea to get an MBA my first year of marriage. I actually got accepted into.

Speaker 2:

I always forget this part of the story. I still applied to an MBA program. I applied to a local program to where my husband was in Florida, got accepted and decided not to go. But I wanted to initially get my MBA. Work for Deloitte Consulting as a consultant, working in human capital, was my dream, and so instead I decided to become an entrepreneur. It is actually what sparked me starting my business. And then I had to realize what the through line was, that tapping into the potential of people and their ideas for how I was going to put together the things that I had done in the past in a way that could grow with my family. So entrepreneurship actually came out of my falling in love with my husband and realizing that I wanted to do something that was more flexible, just in case we someday started a family. Now we have two children a six-year-old and actually a seven-year-old she turned seven yesterday and a nine year old, and this business has grown and evolved with my family too.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so take me back to that point. When you made that decision right To explore entrepreneurship. What was the inner critic? Were there limiting beliefs that were coming up for you during that time of stepping into this new world of entrepreneurship, and how did you address it? How did you approach it? Take me through that framework.

Speaker 2:

So what is interesting is I think that when I initially started, I felt like the way my mind was set up back then was I could do anything that I could create. But there was some critics. I'll tell you where they came in. I could do anything if I can figure out a plan and make it, and then I could make it happen. What I did was I talked to a whole bunch of coaches before I definitely made the decision and asked them about their businesses. Were they successful? Some said they were really not successful at all. Some said they were really successful.

Speaker 2:

A man that I talked to who was supposed to be giving me business advice said this is a horrible idea. You shouldn't do it. You're not going to make any money. I understand you want to do it, but it's not going to be. You're not going to be successful, so don't do it. Which I understood where he was coming from and when I started. So I realized through assessments later in life I'm a high follow through on a COBE assessment, which means you can tell me something general and I will create a plan and implement it. So I'm not the kind of person who, as an employee, would have been like you need to give me all the steps. Just tell me what you need me to do. Just tell me like the big picture, and I'm going to create a whole thing to make it happen. I'm also, on the CliftonStrengths, an activator. I didn't even realize that a woman who I was talking to was like you must be an activator. I was like I don't remember my CliftonStrengths and I was like, yes, I am.

Speaker 1:

CliftonStrengths finders.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to make something happen is my is the style of the spirit of who I am. But in the beginning, where I started to feel some critics or some limiting beliefs was that first week. So I left my job Friday June 20th and had my website up EIN bank account Within like a few days, got all that stuff together and pitched for clients, basically wrote a social media post about how I was becoming a coach, just opened my business that day. That got me a little nervous. So then, three days later, I did another post. This post was different. I asked for help. I'm like, hey, I am starting my business, need some hours. I need as many hours as I can get towards certification, which is true. I actually have the highest certification now of coaches, a master's certified, and you can't apply until you get to a certain place. So I got from that post about helping me get my hours. Book a consultation, tell family and friends. I think it was somewhere between 20 and 30 consultations that day. People booked. So that made me feel much better.

Speaker 2:

That was an idea of me like problem solving what went wrong? What do I need to shift? How do I do this differently? Let me post again. And then it worked. But then it was really nervous.

Speaker 2:

I was nervous about I'm gonna ask people for money and I don't want to ask people for money. Even though I'm entrepreneur, I don't want to take their money from them. I don't want to charge people any more than like 40 dollars for an accession. I charge less than that when I first started out, cause I'm like that is a lot of money for one session with the coach, so I don't want to charge all that money. And then there was other things, like what happens if somebody doesn't book a session when they said they were going to book it, or they don't show up. I don't want to bother them.

Speaker 2:

In my discovery sessions, my discovery sessions I didn't realize it, but I didn't really want to close the sale. I just wanted to be a blessing to people. So people were getting blessed in those sessions and over half of them said they wanted to work with me, but only one of them signed up with me. So this is, let's say, over 12 people or something said. They said, yes, I didn't send them their information for two weeks because they were like send me the information and I'm like, ok, and it took me a long time.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if it was fear of failure, fear of success. I think it was fear of making a mistake in the wrong thing, because I sent stuff so late, people don't respond. So I had some fears and some hesitations, probably right after I got started, because I thought it was going to be super easy. Probably right after I got started because I thought it was going to be super easy. I think, to be honest with you, how hard can it be? I want to coach, put myself out there, and I think part of what coaching training does at best, I think, is it helps you to feel like you have unlimited possibilities when you become a coach in our training. So I'm like, of course, I'm just going to put myself out there. Everybody's like I got you, I want to be your client.

Speaker 2:

So I had to push past those things and problem solve around all of those different challenges in order to be able to move forward.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome. That's an amazing story, and I wanted you to tap into that because we all deal with it in a certain area of our lives, our businesses. Whatever a limiting belief, fear doubts all of that. What I also heard about your experience is you're a planner too, so you leveraged the experience and how you can move forward through the fear and through the limiting beliefs because that's what like really helps us get that confidence is the action. Just how quick can I be in action? And once you're in action, you notice or at least I notice my clients notice that the fear starts to be tamed. The inner critic gets tamed.

Speaker 1:

It's often when we are alone trying to think this stuff through in our heads is when the inner critic really gets the best of us, and a lot of times when we're starting businesses, people are operating in their head. They're not being as resourceful to get as much information so that they can effectively plan and make those next steps. But that's something that you did. Although you did have a little bit of the inner critic appearing, it was very limited in how it appeared because of what you created by getting information and then planning through from that information, and I think that's amazing. Now take me through the process when you're working with a client and they're coming to you with these types of inner critic fears, difficult conversations. What's your approach in helping your clients in that regard?

Speaker 2:

Sure, I'll use one client who was trying to figure out how to have a promotion at work and how to, as a sub point to that, understand how to create more relationships at work that were really great when in terms of the her colleagues and mentors and sponsors to enhance her brand internally within her organization. So when she first came to me, this person is already ambitious and she was hesitant around how she was being perceived by her colleagues at work and also she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure if they were perceiving her good or well or not. She also knew she wanted a promotion but wasn't sure exactly how to do it, even though she was ambitious and was doing some great things at work. So what we did was assess what was happening currently with her relationships at work and how she could transition from being in mentorship and sponsorship.

Speaker 2:

Came and how do you have the courage and confidence to be able to speak to someone two or three levels above you in order to create those kinds of relationships? And her question was like what do I say to them? And we know that the things that you do should be based on your intention. What is your intention in this relationship Based on that intention? What are some things that this person should know about you? What are the natural ways that are aligned with who you are and your values to be able to share that with this person? So we went over those things as well, and then we also found other opportunities for her to really showcase who she was, as well as her capabilities for the organization as a whole. What opportunities existed where she could do that and even cross-departmentally be able to create more influence.

Speaker 2:

So what ended up happening was she created a relationship with a number of people to the point where she was able to get a I think it was a hundred percent salary increase by moving up multiple bands above where she was as a result of that relationship, one of those relationships that she formed and what she shared in those relationships. Part of that is not everybody knows what we're doing and what we're up to. And then, coach Mo, I'm looking at your background and seeing all these different certificates and I'm like Coach Mo, of course, is a superstar. Okay, we know that, we know that, and sometimes we know that our team knows that we're a superstar, but the colleagues across the building they don't know. Or three levels up they might not know it. I think one of the best things we did was help her figure out how do you get that stardom that your inner circle knows about. How do you get that to expand to others who also have a lot of influence?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that's powerful, because what stood out to me in that story that you just shared is intentions, intentions. We get in our way so much and forget about the value of our intentions and what we bring to the table, because we're often distracted by those fears, those doubts, those judgments and all of that and it just outweighs our purpose and our intentions in that moment for what we're trying to achieve. And I think the value that we bring as coaches is to help people regenerate that awareness around their intentions, because as they got to the point of where they are, they were busting their ass, they had certain values that they were implementing. But then you get to this level, you peak, and then all of a sudden you start getting in your own way and you lose sight. We lose sight because I do it too. We lose sight of our values in that moment, our intentions in that moment.

Speaker 1:

And us coaches, having these conversations like really helps empower people to get out of their own way, because now we help remind them about their true value and their intentions, of why they are even here, and then that's where they start to take those steps again and they start regaining their confidence, moment by moment, and then they are able to see those possibilities. I love that story of what you shared. You work with a lot of leaders right, and what do you see as the common theme of barriers that they face? How do you help them move forward in that regard?

Speaker 2:

So some leaders, some leaders that I've worked with, in terms of barriers that they face, I think that some of those barriers are operational challenges that come across as conflict conflict. What I mean by that is, let's say, that the way that projects are managed, the teams are not effectively tracking deadlines and not effectively tracking who is responsible for what. So then people are getting annoyed or irritated with each other or passive aggressive, because maybe I felt like you should have done that. You should have finished that last week. Why is it taking so long? And the person I'm thinking about maybe they don't even realize that they were responsible for that thing. They feel resentful that they have so much on their plate and they're like why do you need that right now? Can that wait until next week? That can be resolved with a, in my opinion, just a simple making sure that, when you are having your leadership agendas, that there is a there's time for action at the end of the meeting where people are talking through deadlines who is responsible for what? Reinforcing expectations.

Speaker 2:

So that is an operational challenge that has now transitioned into conflict. I think that happens. I think that something else that is happening a lot especially since 2020, are capacity issues. So a leader who is trying to manage a team that feels overwhelmed, and maybe people on the team even feel like they shouldn't even be doing that role. They should have been promoted, but there's not opportunity for promotion or the manager thinks they're not ready. So then you have capacity challenges, along with other things that are happening, and so for me that means the team has to be able to manage priorities better, whether it's the leader managing down to the direct reports or even direct reports managing up to the leader, helping the leader to understand how they can best produce high quality work given all the needs of the organization in terms of those priorities.

Speaker 2:

I think those are two, and then I think the last would be communication, in terms of different styles of communicating. So I feel, especially now with there being more of an emphasis on people being able to bring their authentic selves to work and also wanting to be respected and advocating for that respect. If you think about disc styles, for example, they're leaders that are more driving action forward, but not necessarily naturally validating to the people who they work with. They're more in the camp of why would I say thank you for you doing what you're supposed to do and you have other people who they work with. They're more in the camp of why would I say thank you for you doing what you're supposed to do? And you have other people who are working with those leaders who maybe want to be validated or want more collaboration.

Speaker 2:

Or I hear a lot from clients at every level of leadership who say why are my leaders just telling me what to do instead of bringing me into the process? Different personality styles at work, some who maybe are less collaborative, some who are more, some who like validation, some who don't mind not having it, some who like incentives, others who feel like incentives are unnecessary right, some who like to talk through what's happening and others who are like we don't need to talk about it, just get it done. So I think understanding that there's different personality styles and approaches to work and then addressing that, learning it and everybody finding ways to work with everyone else is a key to being able to work effectively.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree. And what are your thoughts around emotional intelligence or psychological safety? We're in leadership at this point because we have leaders who came up the ranks and they've been influenced a certain way by their previous leaders, leaders or previous boss supervisors. Whoever had that influence, they wasn't a high EQ person or they wasn't. Let's stay on that track. They wasn't a high EQ person, right? So now you're the leader, you're running a team, right? So you typically may not carry those same traits because you're following suit through your mentor and now they're having engagement issues, capacity issues because of that communication gap that exists, because they're not taking the time to get to know their team, engage, ask powerful questions all of those different things. The question that I'm trying to get to is how important is EQ for authentic leadership? Through your experience in working and coaching C-suite executives across the board?

Speaker 2:

I think EQ is extremely important and I think that part of the education that is helpful to happen with all leaders is not just helping them to understand, like, what EQ is and how to do it, but what you just said is why is it important? How does it impact the bottom line? How does it influence my ability to be seen a certain way where I can be promoted right, even if that promotion is to CEO from another C-suite role or from a director role to another C-suite role? I think that leaders need to understand the ROI for EQ if they don't already understand it, because if they're not bought into it, even if they're attending trainings or reading books about it, they won't apply it practically. And I think that part of that the challenge of being able to apply it usually in my experience comes from not only the influence of the leaders that they've had before them, which I think is a big deal and I've seen, as a leader, the influence of how people want me to lead, who are my managers but the other piece of it is even going back to that person's upbringing.

Speaker 2:

Like what were their parents? Like what was their perspective of authority when they were growing up? Was it that an authority is an authority. A boss is a boss. If your boss tell you something, that's what you need to do. Or was it that an authority figure is someone who you should be able to push back to anytime? Or, as an authority figure, it's my job to be a safe space for the people who are working for me, or I find joy in having a safe space, a psychologically safe, connected space, or maybe not.

Speaker 2:

So I think that that requires some rewiring for someone who's absolutely like 0% bought into EQ, or maybe 50% bought in to be fully bought into the idea of the ROI. And I think one of the ways that we could do that with leaders is to help them to see examples of leaders who have bought into EQ and who are extremely successful, because then there's data points right Are these the fastest growing organizations, best places to work? How's their retention? What is their annual revenue? What are their stakeholders saying? What are their investors saying? How's their stock doing? But I think, if we can point even to that, I think that can be one way to help people to be more buy-in.

Speaker 1:

That's great. Tell us a little bit more about the services that you provide through your agency.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So I like to say we have a packed suite of services, get it Packed all together A lot, uh-huh. So I like to say we have a packed suite of services, get it Packed all together A lot. But the acronym is P-A-C-T, right. We have program development that we do. That's the P. So right now, for example, one of my contracts is with an organization where I've developed a program for their leaders that focuses on communication, collaboration, resilience, being a leader who can manage conflict very well. So all those things. That is the program development piece of it.

Speaker 2:

The A is assessments. I'm certified in a number of assessments, including EQI 2.0, energy leadership, disc, corn Ferry, leadership architect, et cetera, and so I use those assessments with clients. But I could also facilitate a number of people within a department taking those assessments with clients. But I could also facilitate a number of people within a department taking those assessments in order for teams to be able to understand personality styles as well. And then the C is for coaching. We have executive coaching that's provided to clients In one of my contracts.

Speaker 2:

It's coaching provided for a leadership team, a number of different people who have leadership roles. I have six coaches who also work with me on different contracts who are all providing coaching, so that people can have coaches that are more aligned with whatever it is that they prefer from coaching. And then T is for training. Training is so fun for me, delivering training associated with some of those concepts that I talked about. So communication, collaboration could be resilience. I've done a lot of difficult conversations, trainings and a lot of trainings lately on employee engagement. So how to help a team really meet their quarterly goals? By reinvigorating them and helping them to get back to their why and get back to what are priorities within their organization and for them individually. So again, that's program development assessments. Coaching and training are the different things that we provide to our clients.

Speaker 1:

What does your ideal client look like?

Speaker 2:

Our ideal clients. When it comes to the professional development, the training side would be an organization. Would be an organization, usually small to mid-sized organizations that are looking for training or looking to solve any problems associated with communication, collaboration, conflict or even desire team building for their team members or leaders. And then, on the other end, when it comes to the individuals who are coming to us for the executive coaching development, those are usually leaders could be managers, senior manager, director, c-suite who are looking to enhance their skill sets or enhance.

Speaker 2:

There's a case framework that I have enhanced. The C is for clarity, the A is for alignment. So maybe you know what you need to do, but you're not. You don't feel like you're aligned with it. You don't feel like you're doing the right things you need to do, but you're not. You don't feel like you're aligned with it. You don't feel like you're doing the right things you need to do. The S is for strategy, so action planning, and the E is for executive routines. So what are you doing on a daily basis that align with who you are as a leader? So usually it's senior leaders who are looking for one of those pieces of that case framework.

Speaker 1:

When it comes to the individuals, and how can my audience find you?

Speaker 2:

You can find me on LinkedIn through my name, daphne Valson. You can find me on Instagram if you'd also like to see pictures of my family, or you can find me at my website, which is wwwvalsonsstrategicsolutionscom. But you can also. If you look up daphnevalsoncom, it'll take you to my website as well.

Speaker 1:

And, lastly, final thoughts you would like to leave us with.

Speaker 2:

Every organization has the ability to change into more of what it is that they want to be. That's even if your organization is doing well, but you know that it could be greater if you're having conflicts, if you have a number of people you don't feel are operating at their best. People always have the potential to change, evolve and grow. People always have the potential to change, evolve and grow. Organizations have the ability to change, evolve and grow, and I think that people need to know that, they need to believe that, they need to feel that, especially in times of uncertainty within organizations, that there's always the opportunity to shift, change and grow, and that also applies to individuals. You have the ability to shift, change and grow in a way that you desire, and I know Coach Mo believes the same. I think that's a coach thing.

Speaker 2:

We believe in the potential of people. We have hope. But those are some things that I wanted to share, just as some final thoughts.

Speaker 1:

There it is. I am so privileged to have you today dropping the wisdom, dropping the nuggets and getting to know you and my audience getting to know you. So thank you, Thank you for sharing today. I appreciate you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

Take care.

Speaker 2:

Take care.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's Think About it. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook, at Coach Mo Coaching or LinkedIn, at Maurice Mabry, or visit my website at Maurice Mabry dot com for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and, most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it Together. We're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you, so thank you, and I'll see you in our next episode.