Let's Think About It Podcast

Masculinity & Self-Acceptance: Overcoming Society’s Labels

• Morice Mabry • Season 2 • Episode 41

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Understanding the impact of gratitude on personal growth is crucial for men seeking fulfillment in life. The dialogue explores the importance of self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, and the profound ways gratitude can reshape perceptions and relationships. 

• Importance of gratitude in achieving happiness 
• Exploring the four pillars for a fulfilling life 
• The evolution of masculinity in modern society 
• Role of mentorship in self-discovery 
• Building authentic relationships based on respect 
• The concept of the average man and the need for change 
• Practical steps toward cultivating a growth mindset 
• Strategies for effective communication in relationships 

Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we embark on a journey of thoughtfulness and personal growth. I'm your host, coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through thought-promoting discussions that will inspire you to unlock your full potential. In each episode, we'll explore a wide range of topics, from self-discovery and mindfulness to goal-setting and achieving success. Together, we'll challenge conventional thinking and dive deep into the realms of possibility. Whether you're looking to find clarity in your personal or professional life, or seeking strategies to overcome obstacles, this podcast is your go-to source for insightful conversations and practical advice. So find a comfortable spot, chill and let's embark on this journey of self-improvement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you, and together we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the let's Think About it podcast. I'm your host, coach Mo, and I'm here with another amazing guest my man, my brother, ad. What's good man?

Speaker 2:

What's going on, man? I'm living life, I'm excited, I'm young, I'm sexy, I'm hydrated, I'm having a good time, man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely Absolutely. But tell me this man when are you checking in from Dallas?

Speaker 2:

the DFW area. The DFW area, dallas, that means you're a Cowboys fan too. No, I actually, bro, I'm winning in my life, so much I don't I'm not watching any sports. I'll watch the Superbowl and I actually like to make fun of Cowboys fans, like it's so funny.

Speaker 1:

They get so pissed I don't.

Speaker 2:

I couldn't tell you who's playing for him other than the quarterback.

Speaker 1:

Got you, got you, got you. So tell my audience who you are, what you do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure. I go by a couple of different names. One you can find me on Instagram at AD the RPA guy. So one thing I do is I help men get into tech, make six figures, work from home, work remotely, work from wherever the hell they want to work in less than six months. So that's one thing that I do. And then, outside of that, I also do men's lifestyle and relationship coaching. I have a podcast called King's Corner, but I really talk about and I harp on self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance and gratitude for men. I really do believe those are the four pillars of living a great, outstanding life, and I'm just I'm pro-masculinity, I'm pro-man and I just enjoy what I do.

Speaker 1:

Let's start with that then let's start with that, then let's start with that Living this great, outstanding life. And the one buzzword in your four pillars that I want to explore first is gratitude, because that's a crucial foundation in all that we do. You know what I mean. Whether, whatever path you go down, gratitude should be, always, should be, present. So tell me a little bit more about how you're incorporating gratitude into your pillars and how you're working. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

You. You can't get more of anything unless until you're grateful for what you currently do have. Even if you feel like what you have is not a lot, you still need gratitude Right. Even if you feel like what you have is not a lot, you still need gratitude Right. And the human condition is such that we don't feel happy unless we're growing and progressing towards something Right. And the challenge with that is that and overachievers typically focus on what they don't have Right, because I'm focused on what I want, and if I want it, it means I don't have it. But we can get stuck in that thinking and forget to be grateful for that which we do have, because we have so many things today that we thought that we wouldn't or that we wanted in the past that we didn't have. So we are exactly where we wanted to be at some point, even though we're not where we want to be right now. And it's just you can't. And I love the fact that you can't feel grateful and fearful at the same time.

Speaker 2:

You can't feel grateful and hateful at the same time and so one influences the other yes, and so for that reason alone, like gratitude is, it is necessary.

Speaker 2:

It is what I wake up and I do. The first thing I do every morning is my breathing exercises. The very next thing I do is move my gratitude journal right. It is the pillar of what it is that I do, and I and you and you, just you're not capable, it's. I don't think it's possible to live your best version of yourself or live your best life without gratitude. I don't think it's possible.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so take us through the journey in how you self-discovered that for yourself. Oh, man.

Speaker 2:

So last year 2024, I spent over a hundred thousand dollars on mentorship, right, and it was one of the best years of my life. I made more money than I've ever made. I started my business. I didn't start my business.

Speaker 2:

I got serious about my business at that point and I was in a point where I'm married I had like a girlfriend at the same time and then she had left and I was really sad about that and I had got a mentor and one of the things he kept telling me I paid this guy 300 bucks a month, Great guy. And he would just tell me like, bro, do what you want to do, Do what you want to do because you want to do it, not because society expects it of you, not because your wife expects it of you or whatever. And one of the other things he would always talk about is gratitude. Right, Like he had this whole and he's a big macho, like masculine guy, Like the kind of guy you look at and would be afraid of just because his size and how boisterous he is. And to hear him talk about gratitude all the damn time, I was like, okay, this must be very important, Right, and he, unlike me, he was not very judgmental of people, so he was just very focused on gratitude, masculinity and all these other concepts that I had never really had another man break down to me and very influential to me and over the course of four or five months of coaching, this is just what we talked about, right, and he talked about like how I would itemize gratitude.

Speaker 2:

Like I said I get in the car and then I turned the AC on and it was weird. It was like, okay, I'm grateful for the air that is blowing. And he, one of the things he told me he was like man, what you need to realize is every moment in your life you have exactly what it is that you need.

Speaker 1:

Every moment you have which you may not have, what you want but every moment you have what you need, and that was just something that stuck with me. Whoever that mentor is, he's dropping powerful wisdom and nuggets, because that's exactly what I live by. You can't. One thing that I share with my clients is right. All there is right now, this moment, that's it. Tomorrow isn't here, yet Yesterday has already happened. The only thing that you can possibly do right now is act right now and think right now. That's all you have control over, and what you think and do and be gracious for influences your tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and that's so powerful because when you look at the society that we're in, the administration change and all the different regulations and things that's coming out is generating a lot of fear. I can't. What am I going to do? Blah, blah, blah. Right, all you can do right now is think and plan right now, and that's what you have control over, is your own control. You know what I mean. And so what was it that helped, influenced you to work with men and move into this coaching space? What was that for you?

Speaker 2:

That's a good question, man. Let me start with this I love women, I love femininity. I like to be around happy women. It is a full-time job to keep my energy high. I don't want to spend any time with anyone who's. I got to pull them up because that means they're pulling me down Right. And I had that same mentor, the same coach. His name is Miles Cunningham. You can find him on Instagram at miles in the game and I was telling him what my goal was and at the time it was to have three wives and we all have our own places and all this other stuff and he was like hey, bro, like I hear what you want, but I think you might be a little too focused on women. I think you might be making them too important to you.

Speaker 2:

And I've also listened to a lot of Tony Robbins and one of the things that I'm certain of we all have tell me if you've heard this before we all have six human needs, right? Certainty is the first one, right, we need to be certain that we can be safe, certain that we can get comfort If me and you are sitting in the same room and we don't know if the roof is going to cave in or not. It doesn't matter what I'm communicating you, you're not going to feel safe enough to even listen, right? The second one that we need is uncertainty, like we need variety. If you knew everything that was going to happen in every moment of every day, it'd be cool at first, but then you get bored. So we need variety, right? The third thing is love, or connection, right, because we're communal by nature, right? I'm missing one Certainty uncertainty, love, connection, significance is the fourth one To feel that I am unique, to feel that I am special, to feel that I make a difference. That's our ego, ok, and then? So those are the first four needs that everybody finds a way to meet somehow, some way. Then we have the last two needs that are spiritual. You might meet these two, you might not, ok? The fifth one is growth to become better, to be, to grow, to expand, to develop. And then the fourth one is to contribute, to give to something bigger than you. And so which of those six that you, again, we all have all six.

Speaker 2:

What makes the biggest difference in your life is which one you prioritize, and I knew that, in order to become the best version of myself, I would have to prioritize growth or contribution. I decided to prioritize growth, so that's why I'm always about self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance. That's growth, but contribution. I'm thinking like, okay, who needs this? Who needs to hear this message? Men are struggling, and one thing that I used to say often is I'm not average, my friends are not average. I don't know what the average man does. I don't know what kind of car he drives, I don't know what he thinks about, I don't hang around average people. And then I started to realize but the average man needs my help. The average man does not like himself, he does not love himself, he does not respect himself, and if he doesn't like himself, his woman cannot like him. If he does not respect himself, his woman cannot accept him. And so I went from this abstract idea of the average man, me not.

Speaker 1:

What's the basis of this average man, though? What does that look like? Because I think everyone everyone has their own perception of just because I'm not making X amount of dollars, but I'm totally fulfilled in my marriage and the work that I do, and it may not be a millionaire when I say average, I'm going fulfilled in my marriage and the work that I do, and it may not be a millionaire when I say average, I'm going off of statistics.

Speaker 2:

So do you think that the average man is fulfilled in his marriage? Average marriage.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, but in my opinion, the ones that you see when you walk down the street or you watch TV or whatever, average, not great marriages. You're talking about men in great marriages. If I'm totally fulfilled, I in great marriage, if I'm totally fulfilled, I think. Let me put it this way I believe that the average person is average at most things they do. So the average man's income is like $35,000 a year. That's average. I'm going based on numbers and statistics. I'm not going off of my opinion. The average marriage ends in divorce and on average, women leave more often. They leave 80% of the time. Right, the average American is overweight. So I'm just going off of literally the law of large numbers and averages.

Speaker 2:

And if you were to just pick a man, you said okay, this is an average height, man five nine. Average income 35,000. Average body weight he's overweight. Average marriage he's miserable. If you just did that, to me that is an average life. And also, I think average is bad. I think that is a. I think that is a bad, pitiful life. I wouldn't want to live that life. I wouldn't like me. This is not me judging them, I just know that it wouldn't be okay for me. And that's what I get, where I get average from, and that man, I think, needs help, and I think that we live in a time where masculinity is shunned right, and so it's expected that you act feminine and you think femininely, and if you don't, then you're toxic and your masculinity is toxic, and I just think it's a bunch of bullshit, man.

Speaker 1:

So how do you help them then? How do you so? You found this average person who needs your help. What does that help? What do you do?

Speaker 2:

I don't believe in imposing myself on others, because I don't think you can force feed anybody. I think it just makes them resent you. I don't think you can force feed anybody, I think it just makes them resent you. I don't look at average men and say oh, you need help. I just lead by example.

Speaker 1:

No, I say. When someone reaches out to you and they say I need some help AD, what is that process and how you help elevate them?

Speaker 2:

I really. So it goes back to the four pillars. I really and truly do believe so let's. My goal for them is always to live an outstanding life. Do believe so, let's I. My goal for them is always to live an outstanding life. What is outstanding? When I say outstanding, I mean you see somebody doing something and you say, holy shit, I had no idea that was possible. I didn't even know that was a thing. I'm inspired to do that too. So that's my goal for them. That's also my goal for myself.

Speaker 2:

How do we go about getting there? We need a couple of things. One, we need clarity. What kind of man do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What do you want to drive? Where do you want to live? How do you want to show up in the world? So we need clarity. Obviously, we need a gratitude as well. And then I think we need those other three pillars self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, right?

Speaker 2:

I'll give you an example. I have a friend and again, I don't have any average friends, right? Great guy, he works in car sales, makes six figures, he's got a lady, they've got kids and they live a good life. And great guy, like standup guy, very honorable. I've known him since high school, one of my longest standing friends, right, and he was telling me how sometimes he and his lady like I have a falling out. This was years ago I don't think this is happening anymore and he said, said, whenever they would fall out, I guess she'd move out, he'd move out or whatever, or maybe they wouldn't move out, but he would end up cheating on her and having another girl or whatever. And in order to stop himself from doing this, he would play this really sad music, the song from the 80s, where this guy's singing about how bad he feels when he cheats on this woman in order to keep him from cheating. And then he still cheats.

Speaker 2:

So I'm like, bro, it's in your nature. You are polygynous by nature. That is just who you are. You wouldn't buy a dog or adopt a dog and then be upset that the dog barks. Or a dog wouldn't be upset that it barks. That is in its nature. You do not accept your nature. Therefore, you don't feel good about yourself. You can't. I just don't believe that you become the best version of yourself fighting your nature. You must find a way to point your nature and use it in a way that serves you, but it doesn't make sense to feel shame about something that's built into you that you have no control over, right. So I really think those three pillars, or those four pillars self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance and gratitude Maybe I'll add something to it later, but I really do think that if men had those four things right and they really developed their masculinity and masculinity is basically, but how do you?

Speaker 1:

go ahead? How do you help them? You know, develop that, though, like they're coming to you. Okay, so you're asking about the how specifically, exactly? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So first we got to start with awareness, right, I have to get you to see and understand that. Or let me start over. I really do believe everything comes back to self, everything, everything If a man is not where he wants to be. I have an example. I had a guy who wanted to work with me to get into tech. Right, this guy had $60,000 saved. He was making $70,000 as an engineer and this, his job, was walking all over him. They were making this guy work on work, 10 hour days, work Saturdays and Sundays. And I'm like, hey bro, what do you want? He's man, I want to get into another career where I can make six figures and I can work from home and work 20 hours of work a week or less. And I'm like, okay, tell me about your current situation. He told me all the numbers and then I said hey bro, why don't you tell them, no, I'm not working on weekends? Why don't you tell them, no, I'm logging off.

Speaker 2:

And what we found out was that he didn't feel comfortable standing up for himself. Right, he had a people pleasing nature. And again, we start with self-awareness. And you, it's hard to like yourself when you don't have boundaries. So, brother, you don't like yourself. Can I get you to agree that you don't like yourself? We have to start there. You have to be able to look at yourself and say I don't like how I am showing up, I don't like me, I don't like the fact that I don't have boundaries. So I get them to understand that they either lack, they don't like themselves oh, I'm sorry, they don't love themselves, they don't respect themselves or they don't accept them. It's always one of those three. It is always one of those three. So now we identify which one it is and then from there, we just reverse engineer. Right? So self-love is self-investment, right? So this is I'm reading books, I'm drinking water, I'm going to the gym, I'm doing things in the now, as you said, to make the future me better. Okay, are you drinking water? Are you reading books? Are you associating with people who make you feel good and who pour into you and who reinforce the positive qualities in you? Or are you hanging out with people who you don't like, who don't make you feel well, who hold you to a low standard? Right, that's all self-love.

Speaker 2:

From there, we look at self-respect. Self-respect or respect is just admiration, right? Treating yourself how you would treat someone who you admire. So what does your self talk sound like? Most men's self-talk sucks okay. They say things like I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I can't do it. Just all that coming out of my mouth just now. That just sounded weird, it felt ugh. Right, they speak to themselves in such a way that, like if someone else were to speak to them, they wouldn't speak to that person for very long. But I think we're just so hard on ourselves, right?

Speaker 2:

And then the third part is self-acceptance. So that's just what is it about you or your nature that you have no control over? But you're still judging yourself and you're feeling shameful of it, right? I just I don't think shame is good. I don't think the best version of me has shame, and it's just getting yourself to accept mostly, especially in the West, that you are a man and that your nature is just different. You're not bad, you're not worse, you're not evil, you're not broken, you're not wrong, it's just different. If I was raised by gorillas or baboons or whatever any other animal and they're like hey bro, why are you standing upright? That's weird, there's something wrong. I would grow to think there's something wrong with me If you are in a society where you're, it's feminine, or a lot of guys like I have a guy who works with me and he's like me.

Speaker 2:

He's a young guy who's always he's never had a problem with women, but he's also been raised by all women and so he gets in a position where it's like he's not lying all the time, but he's sugarcoating shit all the time and he has a very hard time having direct conversations. And I'm like bro, it's because of your environment, you're not used to speaking in a masculine manner, because you're not speaking to men, you're speaking with women. Like I met another guy who he grew up raised by women and like I don't think his father I think his father died when he was a young age and he was like I grew up learning that lying was okay because you're it's how you stay safe, right? Because if I didn't, they would all jump down my throat, they'd all gang up on me. And so he grows up as an adult who he's like I'm cheating on all these women and I just can't be honest, and he's I learned that lying is okay and I'm like but lying is a side of cowardice, right?

Speaker 2:

Do you really believe that the best version of you is a coward? No, okay Then. So you're not being the best version of yourself You're doing you're living out of fear and cowardice, or you're demonstrating fear and cowardice instead of courage, right, so it's just taking stock and having an honest conversation with yourself about do I treat myself like someone who I admire? Am I investing in myself? Do I totally accept myself? If there's something that you don't like about yourself that you can change, then change it, and if you can't change it, then accept it. But judging yourself, there's no benefit in it.

Speaker 1:

Just listening to you, it sounds like what everybody across the world deal with is the inner critic, and that inner critic is that inner voice that's negative. And then you add in limiting beliefs, assumptions based on prior experiences that were bad experiences, and you're projecting that it's going to happen in the future, so it makes you hesitant and afraid to try. And then you got the narrative that you tell yourself, which is the story that you're really not good enough, you're not this, you're not that, right. And then you add a voice to that right. That voice sounds like you in your head telling you don't do this, don't try this, you're fat, you're this and you're that. And then at the end of the day, you listen to that shit and you and it prevents you from taking steps forward.

Speaker 1:

That's what I hear, the type of men that you deal with and you work with, right. But then the opportunity is always like how do you help them create that self-awareness so that they know that they're getting in their own way? Because when you talk about men being raised by all women and then they show up in society and are not as masculine or they're not as direct or things like that, right, it's part of their being, because you adapt to your environment. Like you said, you hang out with certain people and you become that environment. And so when these average men sometimes they don't even know what they don't know, so they just on autopilot day in and day out until awareness is created.

Speaker 1:

And so even the inner critic, the negative self-talk that they have in their minds, that can be positive to them. That can be positive to them. It can be positive to them and that's exactly why they're still in the cycle that they're in, because they don't even know, because it's a blind spot. It's a blind spot and so they think that, just like you also said, giving them the opportunity to see what those possibilities are right. When you're in autopilot, in your own headspace, talking negative, creating this negative version of yourself, you think that's cool because guess what else? You're in an environment of other people who are like that too. Yeah, and that's a group. Think of everybody who's not going anywhere. Yep, right, and it takes true consciousness and awareness to break free of that shit. That's whatever that looks like.

Speaker 2:

I would even say that there are men who are not average. These are men who are succeeding, who still talk to themselves poorly yeah, absolutely. Who still beat themselves up Absolutely. It's across the board, it's across the board.

Speaker 1:

It's across the board. You're just zooming in on a demographic of men that you're trying to bring the light to, and for that I appreciate you, thank you. That was just real talk. But why tech? You also mentioned you try to help guys get into tech. Why?

Speaker 2:

tech. So one tech is what I did. I went and I got a degree in computer science from the University of North Texas. So I've been in tech this entire time, right Since 2020. So it's just what I know, right. My dad told me hey, go to school, do something with math, you'll be okay. That's what I did. I've largely turned out to be. I'm more than okay.

Speaker 2:

That being said, I've been in tech this whole time, so I don't know how anyone else lives. I don't know what jobs are like outside of the market, cause I've always been in tech, right. But what I have learned is that people, like I've probably done over 300, 400 calls with men at this point, right. And what I'm hearing them say that they want is financial freedom, right. They want to be able to buy things, pay for things, have experiences, without thinking first can I afford this, right? Two, they want to travel, right. Or, more specifically, they want to work, but they want to be able to work remotely from wherever it is that they desire to be. Three, they want time freedom, right. They don't want to feel as though like I'm working and grinding away 50, 60, 70 hours a week here and now I don't have time for my wife, I don't have time for my kids, I don't have time for sports, I don't have time for self, right. Those are the three things that I'm hearing people say, and it just so happens that I'm in an industry that allows them to have that.

Speaker 2:

I've primarily, almost always had that, but I don't know what other people don't have until I start talking to them. So it also helps me remind myself to be grateful that I'm able to make $150,000 working less than 20 hours a week. Everybody can't do that in their current career. It reminds me to be grateful that I could you know, I don't travel a whole lot, but I could be like I'm going to be in LA next week, right, and I can just take my laptop with me, do business from LA while still working Right, that I. It reminds me to be grateful that I'm home pretty much every day. I get to be here when my kids get here. I get to take my children to school. I get to spend that time with them and interact with them. Everybody doesn't get that Right, and so just being in this profession helps me remain grateful for those things, okay.

Speaker 1:

So what's next for you? What's your objective?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good one man the podcast King's Corner. So I have the podcast called King's Corner and then I also have my organization's name is called King's Corner. We have an online community and I want to get the membership to a million men, million people. I really believe that men build this world. Right, if we disappear, everything else disappears eventually. Right, we build the infrastructure. But we are important. How we feel, what we think, what we do all of that is important.

Speaker 2:

And up until, like I was age 29, 30, I didn't believe my feelings were important. I didn't believe what I thought was I didn't. I thought my job was just to show up and provide and shut up. I wouldn't have said it that way back then, but that's how I felt inside, and so I want to truly inspire men to live an outstanding life. I want people to see me the way they might see like a Jay-Z, or the way they might see an Andrew Tate, or the way they might see whoever they idolize and say, wow, that's incredible, and I don't want them to stop it, that's incredible. I want them to say, if he can do it, I can do it, because I'm not that much different. I've just read a few more books. I've made a few more mistakes, right. There's nothing so special about me that what I've done can't be duplicated, because I've just hired mentors and I'm just taking bits and pieces of the wisdom that I've gotten from them that I like that makes sense for me, and following their footsteps. So I want to inspire men to really and truly live the lives that they desire to live.

Speaker 2:

That same mentor who I spoke about earlier was saying that only men have an identity. Women don't. Right, and what he what I think he means by that is when a? So let me, I got to do some relationship logic. So in every relationship there's a power dynamic, right, and in every every romantic relationship there's always someone who likes someone slightly more and someone who likes the other person slightly less. Right, it's never equal, right, someone, the person willing to leave the relationship and in the relationship first likes the other person less, and so you always have the pursuer and then you have the pursued. Ok, the pursuer gets to be with and this is I'm using, or let's change it, because they're in a, at this point, let's say they're in a committed relationship. So there's the adored and the adorer. Ok, and so the adored gets to be with the one who loves them. The adorer gets to be with the one who they love. No position is better than the other. They both need the other position to exist. And so, going back to that, he was saying men have an identity, women don't.

Speaker 2:

A woman typically will become whoever she needs to be in order to keep the attention of the man who she desires right. So if I say I don't like women who are loud and boisterous and mean, and this woman really wants me to like her, she's not going to be loud, boisterous for me. So she changes who she is so that she can fit in my life. That changing who she is is what I think he means by saying she doesn't have an identity. I am who I am and I'm going to be me, be masculine, move how I want to move and not try to move in any kind of way that gets people to think a certain thing about me. I just am who I am. He said your job as a man is to cultivate yourself and then show up to the world and present them. Present yourself to them. Right now.

Speaker 2:

I've seen the other relationships go the other way around, where the man likes the woman more and so he's molding himself to who he needs to be in order to keep her. However, this doesn't work, because this makes the woman feel unsafe. She starts to believe wait, if I can control you, then you can't keep me safe, because if someone tries to attack us, like if you're so easily controlled by me, he can control you, she can control you. And so that it just doesn't work that way, the relationships that I know that really last long-term, and the ones that I would actually want to emulate, it's the man is the adored, the woman is the adorer, right.

Speaker 2:

And so I say all that to say I want to show men how to become the best versions of themselves so they can start having effortless relationships with the women that they want, right. And you do that by like saying forget the one that you want and figure out who wants you, because it's just easier that way. If she wants you, if he's chasing you, then she can't leave, you don't have to worry about what she's doing or where she's going and things like that. And as a man who has been cheated on several times, I understand how we get there. So that's one part of it. I understand how we get there, so that's one part of it. I want to show men what it looks like to live an outstanding life and have effortless relationships where she believes that you are the best that she can possibly do and for that reason she's not going to rock the boat, she's not going to be argumentative, she's not going to be crass, she's not going to be disrespectful, because she believes that this is the best I can do. Any other man would be a downgrade. And I tell women like straight up, just like that If you don't think I'm the best you can do, you should just leave me alone because it's not going to work anyway. And then on the other side of that this is a more recent goal. Everybody knows Hugh Hefner right, my goal is to.

Speaker 2:

I'm building an organization called the Good Girl Gang and this is a group of women who want to be led. They don't want to consider themselves equal to men. They want to be told what to do. They want to turn their brain off. They don't want to make decisions all day. They just want a man who they love, trust, respect, who they believe has their best interest at heart, and they want to be led. And the relationship coaching is actually a whole lot easier for women. Like I could show any woman how to get just about any man that she wants, assuming she can get in the same room with him, because men are simple. Men are so simple it is ridiculous. Okay, and so I'm. I'm starting that up too. I'm really excited about that.

Speaker 2:

I believe that I need a woman to in order to be become the best version of myself, like the best version of me knows how to lead and interact with men, women, children, straight people, gay people, tall people, short people.

Speaker 2:

I need these people in order to become the best version of myself. Otherwise, I can never interact with them and I can't learn how to interact with them. Likewise, I think that women need men in order to become the best version of themselves. I think that they need to learn how to follow. I think that they need someone to confide in. I think that you, being in your professional life I'm assuming that you can tell what a woman. You can spot a woman from talking to her who did not have a safe relationship with her father growing up. You can see it on them as adults, and so that to me, is like proof that like they need us, and so if they need us, then let's show them the best versions of ourself. Not necessarily for them, we're doing it for us. They just so happen to get the best version of us as a byproduct.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they need. We society needs the best version of good men, regardless, across all races and things like that, across all races and things like that. And then we also need just better communication, because I think not that I'm a relationship expert, but I've been married for 16 years and that's not the average marriage, bro.

Speaker 2:

So that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

You're, you could teach the average guy something, yeah, and I think where things have like really synced us up is the communication piece of it, and I hear you Women want to be led and things like that.

Speaker 1:

Guys should be, take charge, be the leader, things like that.

Speaker 1:

All important, all true, but I also feel that I know I'm going to speak for myself. I need a strong woman, and that's what I was attracted to, and not that. What I mean by strong, I don't mean like she's going to take the family and although you're going to be my right hand, my partner in crime, all of that right, I want you to have that same confidence in yourself as you do in me, and I personally don't want a timid woman that just consistently is a yes woman. I don't need a yes woman, right? I want a woman that's going to help elevate me and not be afraid to tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. Who's not afraid to just call me out on some stuff, because I think that makes me better as a man I'm hearing you say you want a woman who's honest with you, for sure, for sure, absolutely, absolutely, and I think that's what's made my relationship so powerful, like a power couple, and been able to achieve goals and dreams and things like that.

Speaker 1:

So I think that's most important. But when most people like and I'm going to go back to what we were talking about they're just in autopilot and whether it's just chasing ass and not even really worrying about the ramifications of the long-term possibilities with a person, they just want this and when they want it. And so that's where people start to cheat and doing things in that nature, because they want what they want when they want it and not looking at the bigger picture and how the benefits of a woman, a job, whatever, can really have a positive impact on you. Because it goes back to what we were saying it's that inner critic, it's that judgment right, you need this. Or even when you do have a good woman, right, the inner critic shows up and it's telling you that she's thinking this and this of you which is not even true, and you believe it and you go out and do some stupid stuff.

Speaker 2:

And then you realize damn, I was wrong. I got a question for you Because I heard you use a few buzzwords. What is?

Speaker 1:

A good woman is loyalty, trust, mindfulness, openness. A good woman for Mo. Okay, so that's what I was going to get at.

Speaker 2:

So when we say good woman, it's very subjective, because what you would consider a good woman, I may not, or there may be some overlap, but it's not going to be exactly the same I may not, or there may be some overlap, but it's not going to be exactly the same.

Speaker 1:

I'm saying yeah, I'm saying a good woman for Mo you know what I mean which is my wife, because it's those qualities and I was very I remember man because I was in the single game for a long time and then when I decided to settle, I was very strategic in what I wanted in my wife and that's what my wife is right. All of those characteristics, yes, and I think it's also important, if you don't have that sweetheart early on, someone that you really desire, it's okay to be strategic about what you want in a woman and go after it. And because, at the end of the day, I view marriage as a partnership and I need my wife to be that partner that's going to help elevate me and that's important to me.

Speaker 2:

Question. I got a question, or not even a question. I want to say my argument is this there is no such thing as a good woman. There is no such thing, there can't be right, or there is no one definition of a good woman because there's no, there's no one good definition, because I define what's good for mom, and in order to meet that label.

Speaker 1:

Yes, she's a good woman?

Speaker 2:

Yes, and in order for a woman to be good for me, I have to teach her how to treat me Right. So it is incumbent upon me to teach whatever. But here's the thing she also has to like me enough to want to change herself. For me Does that make sense? If she is doing it begrudgingly, then that's not going to work. That's not going to last long term.

Speaker 1:

That's part of the partnership, though that comes with the whole communication piece. Right, Because marriage is a learning process. Right, Like when we first got married, it's totally different than where we are tonight, where we are today, because you go through these bumps and these hiccups and things like that and through. That's the learning process. I'm learning from her and she's learning from me. But I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to slow this down really quick because I want to. I want my listeners to know how can they find you? And final thoughts that you have to share.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure. So they can find me in a couple of places. On Instagram, you can find me at the that's T H E R P A, that's R, as in Robert P, as in Paul A, as in Ashley guy on Instagram, the RPA guy. They can also find me on YouTube at Kings Corner Podcast TV. Those are the two easiest places to go about reaching me.

Speaker 2:

And final thoughts, man is it's all about self. It's all about self. I tell people that, like I come across people especially being an influencer online which I never meant to be here. This is where I am today. I have all kinds of people who say things and it's clear that they don't like me. But you can't not like me. You don't know me. So what you're really saying is you don't like how you feel when you see me. That's an internal problem and that just lets me. It reinforces the idea that everything comes back to self. So the best version of yourself is what's best for everybody else is truly what I believe, and I believe that the world would be a better place if we all found ways to just love ourselves more, like love your wife, love your kids, love everybody. But, bro, love you, respect you, accept you, and it makes it easier to love, respect and accept everybody else and incorporate gratitude and gratitude.

Speaker 2:

And gratitude.

Speaker 1:

That's what we started this off with Sure. I appreciate you, man. Thanks for your time today.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's Think About it. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Coach Mo Coaching, or LinkedIn at Maurice Mabry, or visit my website at mauricemabrycom for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and, most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it Together. We're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you. So thank you and I'll see you in our next episode.