Let's Think About It Podcast
Welcome to the Let's Think About It Podcast with Morice (Coach Mo) Mabry! Are you ready to break free from fear, doubt, and uncertainty to unlock your true potential? Join Coach Mo on a transformative journey as we tackle the barriers hindering your personal growth. In each episode, we engage in insightful conversations with certified coaches, career professionals, and thriving entrepreneurs. Together, we uncover practical strategies to overcome self-imposed limitations and cultivate resilience. Gain clarity, boost confidence, and thrive in the face of uncertainty. Coach Mo, an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and a published author, serves as your guide on this empowering quest for self-discovery and growth. Through mindfulness and mindset mastery, we empower you to navigate the inner critic and life's challenges to seize opportunities for success. Tune in to the Let's Think About It Podcast to equip yourself with the tools and inspiration needed to embrace uncertainty, conquer fear, tame the inner critic, and chart a course towards personal fulfillment. Start your journey to greatness today!
Let's Think About It Podcast
Building Trust and Aligning Values in Leadership
Join me, Coach Mo, as we uncover the inspirational journey of Cecile Peterkin, who bravely shifted from a corporate finance executive to a career and leadership coach. Cecile's story is nothing short of transformative; when her company was sold, she embraced the opportunity to help others realize their potential. In our conversation, we promise to explore the striking confidence gap between men and women in the workplace, with a deep dive into how imposter syndrome uniquely impacts women's career pursuits. Cecile's dedication to empowering women to live authentically and take charge of their professional lives is truly infectious.
We'll also explore the nuanced transition from being an individual contributor to stepping into a leadership role, where understanding one's personal values is the cornerstone of effective management. Cecile and I discuss the common challenges faced by new managers, such as imposter syndrome and the fear of judgment. By focusing on self-awareness and establishing clear communication, we uncover strategies for building a trusting and supportive team environment. Aligning personal and organizational values is pivotal, and we highlight how this alignment fosters harmony and effectiveness in leadership roles.
Lastly, we tackle the complex terrain of generational and gender dynamics in leadership, offering insights into navigating these with confidence and self-awareness. Drawing from our experiences, Cecile and I discuss how early supportive environments can shape professional confidence and leadership styles. We delve into the unique challenges women face in leadership, emphasizing the importance of embracing one's strengths and identity. Through engaging anecdotes and practical advice, this episode is a goldmine for anyone looking to define their professional identity and propel their career forward.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we embark on a journey of thoughtfulness and personal growth.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through thought-promoting discussions that will inspire you to unlock your full potential. In each episode, we'll explore a wide range of topics, from self-discovery and mindfulness to goal-setting and achieving success. Together, we'll challenge conventional thinking and dive deep into the realms of possibility. Whether you're looking to find clarity in your personal or professional life, or seeking strategies to overcome obstacles, this podcast is your go-to source for insightful conversations and practical advice. So find a comfortable spot, chill and let's embark on this journey of self-improvement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you, and together we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the let's Think About it podcast. I'm your host, coach Mo, and I'm here with another amazing guest. Her name is Cecile Peterkin. How are you? I am doing well, and how are you, mo? I'm doing great, I'm doing great. One of the first things I ask my audience is where are you checking in from?
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm checking in and calling from Toronto, ontario, canada.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what should I know about Ontario, canada?
Speaker 2:Okay, we're cold, very cold. No, it is a cold country. Today we are in very Celsius, so today our high is 8 degrees Celsius, so it's maybe about 16, 17 degrees Fahrenheit. Yeah, and in the winter sometimes our warm day could be minus 25 Celsius, which simply means it's like about minus 15 degrees Fahrenheit.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, I don't know.
Speaker 2:part of Canada. So it's a running joke. We have two seasons, we have cold, we have humidity and then that's it. So in the summer it's very humid and in the winter it's very cold. Yeah, we's very humid and in the winter it's very cold. We haven't started getting snow yet no, which you know what. It's surprising. It's been a beautiful October and not a bad November. That's awesome, but it couldn't go late. We could end up snowing May, when it starts late, so it's possible, yeah.
Speaker 2:No wind situation it's cold, it's cold and it's a humid cold, so because of that, you can never warm up. If you get a chill, you can never warm up, because it's the humidity as well. Yeah, it's fun though, but we're not the coldest. Our capital city is actually colder.
Speaker 1:I want to know part of Canada. Okay, so let's dive into who are you. Tell my audience specifically who you are and what you do.
Speaker 2:Okay, so who am I? I'm Cecile Peterkin, that's my name. I came from a corporate background finance and about 22 years ago, when the company was sold, I decided because I realized it was time to go out on my own, because that's when I actually figured out my full purpose and my full potential. And so I started career coaching and leadership coaching for middle managers. And during the pandemic I realized, gee, I need to pivot, I need to focus. I will still do coaching, but a different type of coaching. And because what I was doing before, I coach both men and women with their career and leadership, and in doing that for 22 years, I realized women suffer from imposter syndrome. They have to know the alphabet from A to Z before they'll do something.
Speaker 2:Where, when I'm working with the guys, it's fun, they get it real fast, they move on because they just have this sense of confidence that whatever I say, they understand it and they can just go out there and do it. So that's during the COVID. I'm thinking time for a change. So that's when I changed that I still work with both, but my main focus is working with women. It's just to get them just tap into their potential more. That's what it is, and don't wait to be asked to move up in the ranks in your corporation or in your life. It's just. If you're ready for it, do it. So it's more about knowing yourself, knowing your values, knowing who you are, and stop second-guessing yourself. If you make a mistake, just fix it.
Speaker 1:So that's what brought me to where I am today, nice? What was it that hit the light bulb for you that said, no, I want to be a coach.
Speaker 2:When the company was sold, I was part of the executive team and therefore the company that bought us would not want the same executive team attached to theirs. I didn't want to anyway, because their executive team was predominantly male, meanwhile ours was mixed male and female and I decided no, I can't do this. And then I thought what I loved about my work is wasn't being part of the executive team, and sitting in meetings after meetings is really and truly helping people to tap into their potentials, and I just see the joy in their faces when the light bulb go on. And a lot of them were young and out of university, so they're trying to figure it out. And it wasn't part of my job to figure it out, but I would help them figure it out Because I genuinely love people, and I realized that's what I want to do.
Speaker 2:And then I thought but training, I'm not quite sure I'm reaching the individuals. You're just going in to train a group. And then my partner was working in Connecticut at the time and he saw a magazine I can't remember the name of it now and he brought it home and he said this is what you should be doing. And that's when I became a coach, so I went traveling all over the US taking courses, getting certified.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great, that's great, that's great, that's great, that's great. You sound like me, though, because one of the things I heard you say when you were talking about your background a little bit is new managers and imposter syndrome. Right, that's the clientele that really draws me to them. I like focusing on helping people get out of their own way, but one of the things that I noticed when I worked with that population of new managers is the confidence, the imposter syndrome. How do you help new managers, supervisors or professionals in their new role build resilience and confidence? What's your strategy in doing that?
Speaker 2:One of the things that I will give them assessments. They start with all the assessments and they go through everything and I'll talk about. I get them to talk about their values, and what I really get them to do is most people don't know who they are. And if you don't know who you are, anyone can pull your string and you move in that direction, because people really don't stop to think of themselves as a person who have values. And these are my values and this is what I want out of my job. This is what I want from friendship. This is how I want to show up in the world. This is what the message that I have to deliver.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be about work. It could be just in a social setting. Most people are not geared to thinking about themselves. They wait for people to actually give them compliments, to say, oh, you're great or you're this. But what does great really mean? It doesn't really mean anything, so most people don't seek that out. So I help them to get to that part. That's where I help them to do is to figure out exactly what they are before they can move forward. It doesn't make sense moving forward and you're with the same behavior or the same personality Like you really have to tap into.
Speaker 2:Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up? Because what I find is a lot of managers, when they come to work, it's as if they're kids and I'm thinking to myself would I be talking to them? But when you go home, you're a wife and you're a mother. Do you run your house like what you're doing at work? No, but so what's the fear? Right? I said why are you afraid? Why are you afraid to just show up? Oh, I don't want to be judged, but I said that's good, you also learn and grow by someone saying to you you shouldn't do it that way, or someone saying to you when you said that to me, I didn't like what you said and you have to be able to stand in that power that says thank you for letting me know. I will make sure I don't do that again, because they're talking to you out of respect by letting you know that they were upset and that's how I started working with my clients is just to get them to be a person. Yeah, to be a person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, what I experienced too is with those new managers. So much of their career has been being an individual contributor and they were like kick ass at the work that they do and, just like you said, you should be a manager, you should be leading the team. They hear these compliments that they should take that next step, so they drop their name in the hat, they get the promotion. They're trying to lead the team as though the expectations is you should be how they were when they were an individual contributor. But what they're realizing is there's different personality dynamics that go into leadership and are not necessarily truly prepared for that. And so the imposter syndrome comes into play. Right, the doubt, the fear. Because now you have to have these difficult conversations. When Peter Paul, Sam, whoever having difficulty in showing up to work on time or not meeting deadlines, Now you have to have these type of conversations with them. How do you work with these leaders to restore that confidence in order to have those difficult conversations?
Speaker 2:What I tend to do with them is that, because the issue is and what you said to start within the first place was very good they're individual contributor and what a lot of companies would do is, because you are a good contributor, they'll say, oh, we need a manager, so why don't you manage this team? But for a lot of times, they're not being trained to manage the team and they were working alongside these people as individual contributor and then now, suddenly they are manager and more than likely, based on their approach, they're not respected by the team, because when you are a manager, you're here and the team. You need to guide the team, not to do the work, not to also show them how the work is done, what needs to happen when you first go into a team. And this is why knowing who you are is very important. It really is important Because when you get into the team, you have to make sure the first thing you do is have a meeting with all these team members, because the dynamics have now changed. Now you have to tell them your expectations. You have to.
Speaker 2:I used to say when I was managing, before I got on the executive, I used to say I have an open door policy. If you have an issue at home, let me know because it's going to affect your work. If you're not feeling well, let me know, affect your work. If you're not feeling well, let me know. We can get a temp in or we get someone to take it out. My door is always open.
Speaker 2:I need to know what you are doing and how you're feeling, because if you're not in a good mood, if you're not feeling well and there are issues at home and you want to talk about it, my door is also open because that's going to affect your work.
Speaker 2:I don't want you sitting and moping around and not getting to work, and also your other team members are getting now upset with you because you're not doing anything, and that's worked religiously for me. What I used to do is sit them down and say this is how you approach it. This is your first day being a manager. You go in, you ask them what they expect from a manager and you tell them what you expect from them because you're showing them that it's a team. I want to hear from you and I'm going to tell you my approach and how we're going to work together. I said don't use the approach that I am going to tell you as an example. You've got to figure out what your approach is, because they will not buy into it. They'll realize it's not really you, and once you have done that and gained their respect, everything else is easy.
Speaker 1:I want to go a little deeper on this, because we often can tell people you need to do this, you should do it this way, approach it this way, and they say, yeah, okay, I'll do it, but the fear is still there because of the self-criticism of what they carry on them and how they're trying to project the outcome of the worst case scenarios what's going to happen if they do have this conversation. So that fear outweighs the confidence in the conversation, being very favorable On that level. How do you help a person work through the fear, though?
Speaker 2:Oh, that part excellent question. I love it because that part is the really juicy part. That is the juicy, meaty part where it becomes a lot more tangible. You get to know the person, not just as a manager or someone I work with, but as a real person. And part of it too, because people bring themselves to work and who you are. Basically it's how you were raised or, as sociologists would say, how you socialize. And if you were raised with parents who never they never listened a lot so you weren't able to express yourself, it becomes very difficult for you to be a very expressive person.
Speaker 2:And here you are, now a manager, and I've got all these people. I don't know what to say to them. I'm afraid to tell them that what? Sit down, stop talking, get the work done, because I'm not accustomed to speaking up for myself. What I tend to do is just says not judging you, let's just have a conversation not about work, but about you. Now you're a manager.
Speaker 2:What's one of your biggest fear? What is one of your biggest fear? Taking this on, because now you're no longer a team member? What is your biggest fear? And they look at you like in biggest fear, because now they're afraid to tell me what their fear is. I'm not going to hold it against you. I want to help you. I want to know what is your biggest fear and what's causing that fear. And they'll say I'm fearful because I don't know if I can do this. I said but why do you think you can't do this work? Because I work better as a team mate instead of someone managing a team. I said but you're doing the same thing. All it is that we have noticed that your work is very good, you have very good work ethics and you get the work done. All we're doing is now taking it one step further, to give you a little bit more responsibility. We are going to train you of how to go about it, how to do your appraisals, how to have difficult conversations, how to call out your teammate. But I need to know what is your fear. And sometimes I get they'll never respect me.
Speaker 2:Because I said, respect is not really something that you just earn. You're going to also show them respect and the moment you start respecting them for who they are and what they bring to the table. And I remember one lady said to me and she was married with two kids and she said to me what do you mean by bringing to the table? I said the thing about it is you cannot demand something from a person if you don't get to know them. So I am talking to you right now so I can get to know even better.
Speaker 2:You need to do the same thing. You need to talk to them, sit them down, one at a time, not in a group, and just ask them why are they here, what do they want from this job and what do they expect from their manager? And then you start a dialogue between each party. Then you can say to them you can ask me as well about expectations. I said dialogue start. You tell them. They tell you they have gained respect for you as well because you asked, you took interest in them.
Speaker 2:It's not about the work, I said. The moment you start asking someone about the work, everything goes out the window. They're a person. A lot of them are educated, they're just out of university. This is their first job. You don't want their first job to be a disappointment, so you have to get to know them. It's like being a parent. I said it's the same thing because your kids' age are close to the ones that are here working right now and that's how it is. It's I'm getting to know them and they're getting to know how to manage your team, absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's the power of relationships, right. We're taking that next step up into leadership. It's on the surface, it can look like it's the money, right, but at the end of the day, it's about the people. How are you going to get your people to do the tasks at a high performing level? And it takes really fostering a good relationship, and I talk a lot about this. I talk about those deposits, emotional bank account deposits. I've talked about this on a couple of other episodes.
Speaker 1:But asking a person, how was your weekend? Get to know the person, get to know their family, get to know what their interests are, because at some point in time, when you're going to need them to do something for you, it's going to be an ask, and you want that same respect, right. When you ask that they respect you enough that they're going to do 100% because they value you, they respect you because you respect them in the sense of you understand who they are, you understand what their values are, and when I'm going to go there with values, too, one of the first things that I do when working with a team- is I get to understand what their values are and help them connect the values to the mission and the vision and the work that we're all here to do.
Speaker 1:Without that, it'd be difficult for them to understand why am I here and what am I doing, and they're just constantly going through the motion. But when you can help a person connect their top three, five, 10 values to the work that they're doing, they start to feel empowered, they start to get their what you call work harmony back right.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's so true. I love the value piece. It's because there are people who are at work, and they're at work because they want to work, but at the same time, it's not for the same reason that someone else, a younger person. I want to get into an imaginary world pool. Meanwhile someone comes, someone coming in. I'm just here to do a good job, because having two income coming in will serve us really well. We can save for the kids' education, we can eventually buy a bigger home, so they do have different reasons to be at work.
Speaker 2:And to your point, it's true, you need to find out why are you here? Because a lot of times I have people where they have kids and I used to say all I needed to do is because being in finance at a certain time of the year when tax time, it's very busy, so it would bring in a lot of temps to help with the extra work. And I said all I need to know is when you're here, you have kids. When you're here, I want you to put in your eight hours, just take your lunch and stuff, but I want you to work when you're here. You don't have to work any overtime. When it's done, you're done and you go home to your family. But you have to let me know what your needs are and I'm going to meet you where your needs are and to your point.
Speaker 2:It's true, once they know that you have their back, the work that you can get from your team, it's amazing. It is amazing the moment you walk out to them and says, oh, who want to do this? Hands are going up because you respect them, so they respect you. And that's the thing is, you have to respect people. They can't people say you have to earn my respect. There's no such thing as earning a respect. You should respect people, period, and I remember my dad taught us that he says no, earn your respect. No, if you respect people, you don't know who they are. You don't know what their day has been and what they're going through. So the moment you meet someone, you're going to respect them. It's as simple as that. And it's the same thing when, at work, once you respect people, that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I never had a problem with having people do the work. When the company was sold, I gave interviews to everyone, like I gave them mock interviews so they can get hired at the other company, and I still hear from some of them. Their life has gone in fantastic direction, and all because of how they were treated. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah, yeah, it's, it's, and and that's why I said I love people. I really do, because I want the best for everyone.
Speaker 1:So tell me what made you decide to focus on empowering women in leadership? Why that niche?
Speaker 2:What I noticed women really don't step up to the plate. They don't. They want to be invited in to dinner. They're not going to step up and say it's dinner time and I'm here and I'm ready. They want it to be invited in. And also, I find I'm not stereotyping, because there are a lot of women who are strategic thinkers, but a lot of them are not strategic thinkers because they're afraid of making a mistake. And that's where the imposter syndrome comes into play and they figure that they need to know everything from the entire alphabet before they can say oh, I know what I'm doing and that's not how it is.
Speaker 2:You're supposed to be thinking as you're going along. If you're in a leadership role, you are there because someone saw the potential. So you have to figure out, even ask them sometimes. And that's the thing too. Don't get excited and take a position if you know you're not well equipped. It's easy to say, oh, why do you think I'd make a really good leader? And they're going to tell you why. And then now you have to realize do I really have those qualities? So it's again it's knowing yourself and you're knowing yourself is also knowing your fear, and you don't have to share them with anyone. You can just ask a good friend, anyone. You can just say you know what my boss told me. These are the reasons I can be a good leader. Do you think that's true? And I said if your friends are honest, they will say either yes or they'll say no. You might need to work on this, you need to work on that, and I don't think enough women do that because they always take a back seat and part of it.
Speaker 2:And what I learned is I was working with a client who very good friend, so I knew the family and I knew her father quite well and I was her fate. Out of all her friends, I was the favorite one and the only house she could stay at was my house, so I knew he was what he was all about. And when she has a woman boss and she was in senior management so when her director was a woman did well, great. When our director is a man, she doesn't do as well. And that she was the tipping point for me.
Speaker 2:And I said, okay, tell me about this project that you're working on. How did you approach your boss with it? And when she ran through it, we did a role play. I said no, you don't do that. You're reporting to a director. You don't do that. What you're going with all the confidence is why you came up with this idea and you run through the idea with him but don't speak to him as if you're asking for his permission. He doesn't have time. And when you went through everything to me, you're asking me I don't have time for that. And that's exactly what he's thinking. Why is she here? And she started doing that and she said oh my God, that really works. And I said you know why?
Speaker 2:no-transcript Well you know what? No, I didn't. Actually, my dad was different because the same friend used to hang out at my house because anyone come to my house, we're just free. But my dad, he was amazing, god rest his soul. He was just, he saw. It doesn't matter your age, he just saw us as little people. We're not kids to be pushed off into a hole or whatever. We are little people with ideas. And he used to spend so much time talking to my sister and I and my stepbrother, to the point where sometimes after work you'd go out and you'd be coming home and it's maybe around nine o'clock. We're going to school and we hear the car in the driveway and we would run to our bedroom because we know he's going to come and tell us about the conversation. And we talk and we give our opinion and you would listen and we're thinking, daddy, we got to go to school, we got to go to school One more thing, one more thing, and I find that's the difference.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter what you wanted to do. I was a tomboy growing up and my sister was a girly girl, and that's exactly how he raised us. It wasn't a big deal. I was constantly in the basement working on things with him. He and I used to go up on the weekends shopping, but individually, as people. That's exactly how he raised us, so it was easy and you could talk to him about anything at all and you knew he was always going to have your back. So it gives you this sense of security and the sense of selfness. I didn't have to change.
Speaker 2:I remember once we were going out we always go out for a drive on a Sunday and I always wore pants, hated pants. I was about 12 at the time, hated dresses, and I came down in the pants and he said up the stairs, I don't want you in a dress. I just bought a whole bunch of dresses for you because he bought all our clothes and I said I don't want to. And he goes up the stairs, up the stairs, we're not going anywhere and you're ruining everyone's day until you get into a dress. I put a dress on and it came down and I started crying because my dad had never said no to me and he said no that day and it was like I went out and we all had a good time.
Speaker 2:But that's how he was. He raised us based on our personality, who we were, and just talked constantly, constantly. He was just telling us how to behave, how to conduct yourself, know who you are, know your values, know your worth, know your self-worth.
Speaker 1:So as a young professional you naturally carried that into the world Naturally.
Speaker 2:Yes, you naturally carried that into the world. Naturally, yes, it's true, naturally. Because funny, you should say that because I didn't have too many run-ins. My boss is to tell the truth, because I entered management at a very young age, but the people that I was managing didn't know my age because I looked younger than I was, but I was in my mid-30s, not 30s, sorry, mid-20s. And my director, she, used to tell me what to do and I said, no, it's not going to work that way. Tell me the end results, tell me what you're looking for and I will give you that results, but do not ask me to do something by you telling me what I should do. I said it doesn't work for me, I'm sorry, it doesn't work. And she goes oh, I'm sorry. And from then on, she never did that. You just brought up a great point.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's the disconnect with the new generation coming in. You have old school generation X, maybe baby boomers, who've been in leadership and their role in leadership is to tell you what to do, right, the new millennials, the new generations that's coming up. They find that hard because they're very innovative, creative and they want to problem solve. But then when you have a manager supervisor that's constantly telling you you got to do it this way, you got to do it that way, do it this. Micromanage, right Micromanage, it creates that resistance and you're creating this environment of what's the word I'm looking for? Risk adverse. There it is. Yes, there it is. That's the word that I'm looking for. Yeah, you're creating that because they don't want to make a mistake. Yes, if I make a mistake, hand slapped, and we don't want our hand to be slapped. And if my hand is slapped then I'm a bad leader.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's true, that is true and it's funny. You should say that Baby boomers are the worst. They are the worst. I don't know what it is, but for them, knowledge is power. And in the 21st century, knowledge is no longer power. The knowledge of what you have is what you do with it. That's what it is, and this is why, to your point, the Gen Zs and the millennials this is why they get upset. I've got the knowledge. Just tell me what you want done and I'm going to use my knowledge and get you the same end results, because that's what it is. Knowledge is not power anymore. Yeah, when you were there, it was power, but, needless to say, you don't have the power now. Just tell me, but it's the culture too.
Speaker 1:Right, because you're in this organization. Now I'm going to go to the organization and you have the person at the top who's knowledge-based, and it's got to be done specifically this way and only this way. And then that's how the managers came up the pipeline, through the way that the top manager is delegating to them and telling them what to do, and you just have an organization that's built like that. And then you have the new millennials coming in, and then they don't really understand why there is a disconnect, because we're not giving them the opportunity to grow and learn and make mistakes. But then I always ask is it truly a mistake? Isn't that the time when you learn the most? If something didn't work out the way you anticipated it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly, but they don't think that way. And it's funny you should mention that, because I was talking to this gentleman at the gym a couple of months ago and he was talking about he's going to be leaving Canada and go someplace. And I said why? Because he said the baby boomers won't leave. He said they all came back to work because they haven't figured out what they're going to do when they retired 65 and they're now 74. And they still haven't figured it out. So they're there and they're driving us crazy. And they all came back because they have nothing to do and if they sit at home and do nothing, they're just going to go down the drain, because you can't do that. But they didn't plan. They plan was to be around forever because and the thing about it I know they make a big change in the world. We all know that Everything now that came after what the baby boomers invented.
Speaker 2:They've just add on. And there was nobody there for because the veterans a lot of them didn't even make it into corporate world. A lot of them, when they came back from the war they weren't that healthy. So the baby boomers realized that I've got all this stuff. Everything that they're doing now and creating is based on what we started. So I'm going to show them. I know what I'm doing. I just get the feeling that's what's going on. So they need this heightened respect about we created this. We created that, so I can tell you what to do. But you're not growing either, because the younger generation has a lot to teach just about anybody, because they're more tapped into technology than anyone else is. So therefore, maybe you want to listen to them and they have ideas. Some of the courses that they have now in university when you were there, they didn't have those courses, but they don't know. They don't see it that way, and this is why there's that friction Everywhere you go it's a big friction.
Speaker 1:Tell us about your company and who you work with and what you do.
Speaker 2:What I do is I work with middle managers and leaders. I start with those middle managers and leaders who want to excel in leadership role. They want to be seen as part of a team. And then I also work with people who are trying to get into the executive team to be a part of the executive team. They are the decision making table, which is a harder piece to make. I love that. I love all my clients tells.
Speaker 2:But what I find the ones that want to make it into the executive suite. They are more motivated because they have spent so much waste, so much of their time not doing it the right way. Not saying my way is the right way, but that's what it appears to me when I'm talking to them. They've wasted so much time because they were waiting for someone to invite them in and no one is going to invite you in until you have one. Made contact with someone on the executive team. Start showing up at meetings as well, Talking to your boss to say, can I join you so they can talk you up, Because that's what it is To make on the executive team. Is there someone? Always have to talk you up? I have to say, oh, this person is great. I would like her to start coming to the executive meetings and contribute to these meetings, because she's the one that's on the floor doing the groundwork with the rest of the team. And the moment that they see that, that's when you can make it in and you listen, you ask questions and then when you have something to say, you say it. But just don't sit there all the time. And I'll share a joke with you where I remember once I was away for a day, I think I don't know why, and we had just did a reorg, and so they were all in an executive meeting, with the exception of myself, and the executive VP were asking them all these different things, and they kept calling my name and they kept saying, oh, Cecile is going to be doing that, Cecile is going to be doing that, Cecile is going to be looking after that. And he says I guess, when you want the work done, we got to call in Margaret Thatcher. The next day I came in and I said, oh my God, Tom Simpson called you Margaret Thatcher. I said, oh my God, oh, wow, that's a compliment because she's smart and she has a nice handbag, and that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Women look at things differently. They're looking at it now. She's not a very attractive woman and she's, but I don't see her that way. I see her like whoa. She got things done when she was the prime minister of the UK, so therefore that's a big compliment for me. And when I explained to them they were like oh so you see, and that's the thing that's imposter syndrome with women. That's the first thing they look at is that she's not a very attractive woman. I was talking about the fact that the women look instead of.
Speaker 2:I looked at Margaret Thatcher as a person who, because he said my executive director, vice president said oh so I guess when you want the job done, you put Margaret Thatcher on it, calling me Margaret Thatcher, and they thought I would be offended. So when they told me the next day, I said no, I'm not offended. She's a powerful woman, she was very good as a prime minister, and then I said, plus, she has really nice handbags. That's OK. Yeah, but they didn't see it that way at all. They saw it as, oh my God, if she called, if he called me Margaret Thatcher, I'd be offended.
Speaker 2:And these are the things as women, we've got to come out of all this and just be who we are, and that's why I started to work with them. It's just who are you? Who are you? How do you want to show up in the world? Do you want to show up in the world as an intelligent, bright, fun person who happens to be a woman? Or do you want to show up as a woman who slinked into a networking event and slink into the corner so nobody can see you? And that is our issue. We either show up somewhere in a group or, when we show up on our own, we're afraid to just stand out.
Speaker 1:What's one of your best success stories as a coach?
Speaker 2:I was working with a doctor and he was having an issue where when he'd go on rounds with the surgeon and he would ask a question, he wouldn't be able to answer it, even though he knows what's going on. And I said to him okay, the patients, the same patients you're doing the rounds with. I said what you need to do is, first thing. First I'll tell you how it works. If you're going to a meeting, never, ever go to the meeting without an agenda. Always make sure what's on the agenda, especially if you're going with your leader or your boss, what's on that agenda and you can pick out the ones that you're capable of answering. But you're going to do the same thing. You know who all the patients are. You're going to walk around, they know you, you read your chart and two or three. That's very good. And whenever he gets those patients, you make sure you're right beside him and the moment he asks that question, you make sure you're the first one to answer it. And that's what he did and it worked for him. So he kept doing that and it worked successfully. So he said I'm going to get you to coach my brother and sister-in-law. He said my sister-in-law is great. She's a really good go-getter. But my brother-in-law, he's a little shaky, not brother-in-law, so his brother, his brother and sister-in-law. So I said sure.
Speaker 2:So we started working together and I saw what he said about his brother not only is he a little shaky, he was also a chauvinist, so he would always try to talk over his wife and his wife was a lot more intelligent and more of a go-getter. So after so, his brother, the doctor, was actually paying for the sessions. He stayed for three sessions and then he said you know what? My wife is enjoying it a lot better. So why doesn't she stay and I'll leave, I won't join. And I said, okay, that's fine if she's okay with that.
Speaker 2:Now she wanted to be ordained as a minister and he was holding her back. And after he left, oh, she just shined like a bright light and she did eventually become a doctor, not doctor, become ordained minister and in fact she invited me to actually service when she was being ordained, because that's exactly what she wanted to do and was holding her back, and within, I think, a year to 18 months after that, they were divorced. Wow, yeah, because she, he, was just holding her back. And after that and it's funny because when her brother-in-law, the doctor, heard what happened, he said, wow, you did that. I said, no, I didn't. All I did was just let her shine a light brighter.
Speaker 1:I can imagine the impact that you're having with all your clients in that front. As we move towards closing out this episode, what's some lasting thoughts that you would like to share, and also share how you can be found A?
Speaker 2:lasting thought is the number one thing. Be who you are no-transcript people who you are, because you gain more respect and they understand where you're coming from as well. That is the main thing. If you're going to individual contributor, if you want to be a leader, if you want to be a leader, if you want to manage people, if you want to get into the C-suite, it's let go of the fear. Don't develop imposter syndrome because you're so afraid of opening your mouth to speak. Don't it's say what you have to say, because if you know you have something to say, what you have to say, and say it with such presence that people want to listen. Don't stand there saying it but they can't hardly hear you because you're so afraid. Be present. Be present, and it takes you a long way to be present. It will take you a long way and you get a lot more respect because people know what to expect.
Speaker 2:My website and the website is leadershipcoachingcentercom. You can also reach me. My email address is lcleadershipcoachingcenter at leadershipcoachingcentercom, so it's lcleadershipcoachingcentercom. Nice, there it is, and you can find me on LinkedIn as well. There are tons of great articles on.
Speaker 1:LinkedIn. There it is.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much for sharing and thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I thought you dropped a lot of great nuggets today, so I really appreciate it and thank you, cecily.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. It was my pleasure, useful. Take care. Bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's Think About it. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion appreciated If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Coach Mo Coaching, or LinkedIn at Maurice Mabry, or visit my website at mauricemabrycom for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and, most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it together. We're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you, so thank you and I'll see you in our next episode.