Let's Think About It Podcast

Practical Strategies for Conquering Imposter Syndrome with Romy Van Der Merwe

• Morice Mabry • Season 1 • Episode 24

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🎙️✨ Unravel the secrets to conquering imposter syndrome with insights from Romy Van Der Merwe, a dedicated imposter syndrome coach who has transformed her own struggles into a mission of empowerment. 🌟 Romy’s journey, marked by her transitions from South Africa 🇿🇦 and Germany 🇩🇪 to a life of freedom in Vancouver, Canada 🍁, is a powerful testament to strength and resilience. She opens up about the pivotal moment during her maternity leave 🤱 that turned her career path from real estate 🏡 to coaching 🎯, sharing personal anecdotes that bring her experiences to life.

💡 Discover how imposter syndrome can manifest in the form of perfectionism, lack of confidence, and avoidance behaviors, often triggered by negative feedback and self-doubt. Romy shares practical strategies, like celebrating small achievements 🏆 and fostering positive thinking 🌈, to help individuals break free from these destructive patterns. Drawing from her own experiences and those of her clients, she emphasizes the significance of balancing positivity with negativity ⚖️, staying aware of self-critical thoughts 🧠, and implementing proactive changes 🔄.

In this episode, we also dive deep into the distinction between fear and imposter syndrome. By differentiating between life-threatening fears ⚠️ and the anxieties that drive imposter syndrome 😰, she provides a roadmap for addressing and overcoming both. Highlighting the importance of personal growth 📈 and community support 👫, Romy leaves us with inspiring success stories 🌟 and actionable advice 📋, all while encouraging listeners to stay committed to their self-improvement journeys. 🚀

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we embark on a journey of thoughtfulness and personal growth. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here to guide you through thought-promoting discussions that will inspire you to unlock your full potential. In each episode, we'll explore a wide range of topics, from self-discovery and mindfulness to goal-setting and achieving success. Together, we'll challenge conventional thinking and dive deep into the realms of possibility. Whether you're looking to find clarity in your personal or professional life, or seeking strategies to overcome obstacles, this podcast is your go-to source for insightful conversations and practical advice. So find a comfortable spot, chill and let's embark on this journey of self-improvement together. Remember, the power of transformation lies within you, and together we'll uncover the tools and insights you need to make it happen. So let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of the let's Think About it podcast. I'm your host, Coach Mo, and I'm here with another exciting guest, and her name is Rami Vandermeer. How are you?

Speaker 2:

Well done for saying my name like that and getting it right. I appreciate it. I am so well, so excited to be here, really very happy and thankful to be having this conversation with you today.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and you have to tell my audience where you calling in from.

Speaker 2:

I am calling in from Vancouver, canada, vancouver, okay, yeah, beautiful day today for a change. We live in a rainforest so it rains a lot, but today is a beautiful day and, yeah, it's great to be in Vancouver.

Speaker 1:

Born and raised.

Speaker 2:

No, so I'm actually from South Africa. Originally, I'm German, so I'm in a little bit of a mix. I'm German from South Africa. I met my husband there and we immigrated to Canada, vancouver 2017. What is that? That's already eight years ago. Seven years, holds my mouth.

Speaker 1:

Okay, what would you say is the most exciting thing about Vancouver? The?

Speaker 2:

freedom that you get to have here is just coming from a country where you have to be careful all the time, especially as a woman. You can't walk anywhere alone, especially not at night. You don't stop at red light when you're driving at night as a woman, and here I hike in the forest by myself. I have a bear belt because we live in an area where there's bears, but beyond that I can just me and my little schnoodle, who's not the biggest protector in the world, he's just a little fluffy thing. We can just be in the forest alone, together, and I do not have to worry. This massive sense of freedom, and that's really a big reason why we moved here.

Speaker 1:

That's what I'm talking about. I appreciate you sharing that, but, more importantly, I'm really happy that you're here because we have a great topic that we're going to talk about. You are an imposter syndrome coach and I talk a lot about fear on this podcast. I talk about that punk ass inner critic that gets in our way Excuse my French, but that was the title of one of my episodes and you are an imposter syndrome coach. So, before we get into all of that, talk to or share with my audience about your journey to becoming an imposter syndrome coach.

Speaker 2:

So I always feel the best way you can help anyone is if you've gone through it yourself and you can actually have identified with it. And imposter syndrome is something that was just part of my life in hindsight for so, so long and I didn't realize that thoughts that I was having and the reactions that I was having were part of this imposter syndrome. I just thought that's who I am and that's how I think I had a couple of. I of course need the universe to show me the same thing over and over a few times before I realized that I'm being told something. But my last one was really my biggest wake up call was I was a real estate agent commercial real estate agent really doing well, successful at what I was doing but I was in an environment that was just not very supportive, not very helpful, and I had just gone on mat leave. My baby was one month old and I had been very instrumental in a deal that I had done with two colleagues and a month into mat leave I get this email or you're not getting commission. And I had.

Speaker 2:

I just I'd fought so long and so hard and I was like, okay, you know what, I'm on mat leave. Maybe I just don't deserve it and maybe so all these thoughts again that maybe I'm just not deserving of it. So I let it go. And then, a month later, two months later, when I came out of this fog, I was like no, it's not right. It's not right to constantly be bowing down and saying no to yourself. And that was really my turning point where I'm like I can't be the only person that is feeling this. I can't be the only person that dreads going to work, that has this fear coming up already on Sunday, sometimes earlier Sunday mornings already, where I'm waking up oh, tomorrow I need to work again. I'll bring that home, I'll bring it home to my family, I'll bring it home to my boys and my husband, and it's just not a way of life to be stuck under this oppressive umbrella all the time.

Speaker 1:

And that was really my turning point. Wow. So what was that? Said, I'm going to be a coach, I'm going to be an imposter syndrome coach. I know you were feeling it, but when did that piece of the journey happen for you?

Speaker 2:

So I then went on my own journey, my imposter syndrome journey, right so figuring out like how I had been living with this and how it had been showing in my life. And it showed up in very many instances, and through a family member. So she, just like a sort of removed family member, she's a coach of coaches and I just reached out to her one day. I'm like, hey, so what is this life coaching about? And, long story short, I then did the life coaching through her and it is just, it's just, it's so massively rewarding.

Speaker 2:

But then, of course, the first thing that happens to me is okay, great, now I've got my certification, but now who am I to coach anybody? I don't have enough experience. What life experience do I have to teach anyone else? So then I started going on a whole bunch of new courses and new things and my poor husband very supportive, he was like like he listened, watched me do all of these courses and like spending all this money.

Speaker 2:

And then eventually, also what was it? I think it was. I heard somewhere someone saying you only need to be 10 steps ahead to be able to turn around and help someone. You don't have to be a million miles or a million steps, it's just 10 steps and help from that perspective. And then that somehow, with the experience that I've been having for such a long time, I was like, okay, you have imposter syndrome is something that I know and I know what I have to do to work through it and I am now in a position where I can turn around and I can help someone to not have to spend years and years but can help them work through it in a much shorter time.

Speaker 1:

So tell us a little bit more about what is this imposter syndrome theory.

Speaker 2:

Great question and amazingly you say theory Imposter syndrome is not a medically diagnosed disease like Alzheimer's or something. So it's very much a feeling, a feeling that's subjective, inherently subjective. The difficulty with that is that a feeling like how do you quantify a feeling? But the easiest way to really understand what it is if you're in a situation where you have to give a presentation, for example, and this presentation's in a week's time and you are.

Speaker 2:

Person a is okay, I'm not going to. Just for whatever reason, I don't prepare for the presentation. I don't do anything on the day. You're like oh my goodness, I didn't prepare. What if I make a? What are people going to think about me? They're going to laugh about me. Am I going to fail? Then you do the presentation. It goes well. And you're like okay, me, I did well. Person B, on the other hand, though like from day one, they'll be like I don't know if I'm actually capable. Why did they choose me? Could do more than what I'm capable of doing. Start over-preparing, perfecting the whatever. It is like, spending hours and hours at work, staying later at night to get the presentation right On the day of the presentation, these feelings just get so big and so overwhelming they have the presentation or give the presentation. It goes well, and instead of claiming the victory, it's more of a sense of relief thank goodness, okay, this time I made it, I wasn't found out. I'm okay until next time.

Speaker 1:

So that's the pattern repeats itself over and over because it's never really truly addressed it's never truly addressed.

Speaker 2:

And that's the difference, really, between self-doubt, which we all have everyone has somewhere along the line not been confident versus the actual imposter syndrome and with your clients.

Speaker 1:

How does this imposter syndrome typically show up for your clients that you work with?

Speaker 2:

It's things like not being confident enough to speak up in a meeting or in a board meeting, where you feel that people are going to laugh at what you're saying or not take you seriously. It's if you have to have a conversation, a difficult conversation, as opposed to standing up and having that conversation, like trying to get away from that, walk away from that, not taking on any responsibility because, again, you don't want to, you don't want to fail and show others that you're actually not capable of doing it. Perfectionism is a really big thing. So what someone might think is fine at five o'clock let's say five o'clock on Thursday you're done with it.

Speaker 2:

Someone with imposter syndrome would look at it again and again and maybe sit until 12 o'clock at night like perfecting the thing which is already absolutely fine, and then they miss out on family time and they get resentful and it's just. It just all amplifies because there's this inability to fully trust that the work that I have done is fine, it's good and it might not be perfect, but but it is good, it is good enough to go out. And then, when they do get a feedback of it not being what exactly perfect, it is taken to heart so extremely and as opposed to seeing it as okay, this is feedback, I can improve upon it next time. It is taken very personally and then that brings it down on the energy scale, on the success scale and just really on the downward spiral.

Speaker 1:

that's a way that it really shows up I get it because there's this judgment that's present, that never ending judgment, whether it's a limiting belief, whether it's a certain story that you tell about yourself and how you see yourself, and it limits you from getting out of your own way. Right, yes, just like you just said, you have this amazing presentation, but then you still find a way to create doubt about yourself after the success you just have. How do you work with a person from that mind frame to start to make that shift?

Speaker 2:

a person from that mind frame to start to make that shift? Great question. The very first thing is to create awareness around what's happening, because most often than not and me myself as well, like when I was in it you don't actually realize that this is a pattern that's recurring and this is the type of thoughts that you're having because it just isn't the way it always has been for you. So it's really just stopping in a situation, figuring out what it is that you're feeling and has this happened before? Is this a recurring theme? And then working on it from there, and once you've got this awareness and are aware, so you're aware of it and you're able to then take the next step, which is really to start balancing the scales and you very much do this as well, I'm sure, in your coaching is that just there's so much negativity that's going on around me.

Speaker 2:

The social media that's being from every angle blasting at us news is negative, because what's it if it's?

Speaker 2:

If it bleeds, it leads right.

Speaker 2:

So it's all this negativity around you and you being told what to do, how to act, how to say how to all of this. You need to balance that a little bit and for me, the best way to start balancing it which is a really easy thing to do and it sounds too simplistic, but it really is effective is to start really writing down all of your wins, everything that you have achieved, everything that you have done, and it doesn't matter how big or small it is. In fact, you want to start with the small things and then build it from there and then one day, when you start writing this all down, you actually start seeing like how much you actually have achieved in life and how much you actually have done. So you start believing it and you can start flipping through and reading everything that you've done and it just it starts to balance things out a little bit and you start building through a process, but you start building on that internal confidence, which is really where the confidence should be at internal validation as opposed to external validation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're ultimately building reps of positivity into your consciousness, right? Because by default you absolutely do nothing, it's always easiest that you will attract so much more negativity, right? Just what you said. You got social media, you got the news, even to the extent you got family members. The environment where you live is negative. What are you doing to offset that? What are you doing to create that balance? And if you by default do nothing and you're just getting negative and in your family that you're associated with negative and in your family that you're associated with negative, right?

Speaker 2:

yeah you're upbringing negative right yes, I know, I don't know you, you are. So 100, right? Was it doda spencer that said there's this of our thoughts, 70 to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative thoughts, are disempowering thoughts, right? So again, we have to balance. That there's which. I'm quite a visual person. So someone someone once said to me or I read this somewhere, maybe it was my coach had said this that our thoughts, how was it go? Our mind, is like Velcro to the negative and Teflon to the positive. And that, for me, was just such a visual thing, because we do tend to hold onto the negative. If you're in school, right, and you get 98% in your exam, are you going to celebrate that 98%? Or is the majority of the people going to be like, oh, I didn't get the last 2%? We just fixate on that and instead of claiming the win and claiming the achievement. So that's where the balancing comes in, absolutely Like you said.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, and you have to, or we have to be creative in how we bring in our negativity, and so you just can a millimeter amount of one thing that you can do to create positivity which is affirmations journaling.

Speaker 1:

There's so many different things that you can pet in your pet, right?

Speaker 1:

That's something that you can do, that kind of creates, just to get that feel of motivation to embrace positivity and optimism into your mindset, so that you can start to create that balance, whatever that looks like. Yeah, yeah, the most effective way is just what you said, because I go back to my history. I have no books, I have just journaling affirmations, because we, like you said, we all carry this doubt, right, and when you don't have that balance, there becomes a lot of self-pity that we carry in certain situations that come up. Yes, and what I've learned through my experience as I journaled and wrote out affirmations I don't dwell in the pity. It comes and it goes right so much faster, and you just become so much more optimistic, and so to the point where it's an autopilot. Now, though, yeah, and that's the goal is to try to get the positivity to be autopilot, so that when we approach a difficult or scary situation, we're not dwelling in it for hours. We can move past it and be our true version of ourselves.

Speaker 2:

I'd love to stack on that. So the dwelling is I find that oftentimes we don't even know that we're doing that. It's just, it's the thought process that we've just always had. It's just a way that we think. And, in fact, if you find, if, like you have a friend, you have a buddy, you have a family member and they're going through a tough time, you're going to sympathize with them, right, You're going to sit there, you're going to help them, but what you're ultimately doing is you're enabling them to stay in that self-pity and to stay. Not, it is.

Speaker 2:

So again, it comes to the. You get time, like whatever happens in life, take the time to acknowledge what happened, to process what happened, to feel everything that is around it, and then there's a cap. There has to be a cap somewhere along the line where you're like okay, now it's enough and I need to. If I want to get ahead of get ahead, if I want to get out of this, I need to make a change, and the change has to start with me. So I often find that friends and family are probably not the best because they want to help in the way that they help is to show sympathy. But so it comes back to the awareness of. These are the thoughts that I'm having. Yes, I get to have some time to feel everything that I'm feeling, but there has to be an end point if I want to then move on from here. But there has to be an end point if I want to then move on from here.

Speaker 1:

Here's a question for you. Yeah, how would you differentiate between fear and imposter syndrome?

Speaker 2:

That's a good question. So I think fear in and of itself can be a really good thing if used correctly. So the whole fear thing is inherently a part of our DNA. Right Way back when there was a saber-toothed tiger, we knew not to go hug the cat, we knew to run away. Right Same now, if you're in a situation that is really a dangerous situation, this fear comes up and we get to then move away.

Speaker 2:

Imposter syndrome is more of being in a situation that is not threatening to your life. So, like the saber-toothed tiger is threatening to your life. But having to give a presentation right, this presentation it's not threatening. Is it scary? Absolutely, is it something that you are fearful of doing? Absolutely, but it is not a life-threatening thing to be doing like the saber-toothed tiger. It is just the fear of making a mistake, the fear of being found out, the fear of being ridiculed.

Speaker 2:

Part of what imposter syndrome really is that we are inherently social beings, so we're part of a community and we want to fit into this community. We don't want to be ostracized, cast aside. We want to be part of this community. So the fear of making a mistake, the fear comes from if I do this wrong, I'm going to be kicked out of my society. I'm going to be kicked out of my group. But it's not the presentation, the situation whatever. It is not the life-threatening thing that's going to kick you out of this community. It's just a situation that you're in that you have to work through and move through to get out of.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to throw this example at you. It's a personal example, all right, not too many people know this, but I had to be about eight, nine years old and back in the day we would, in the summertime, we would go to these rec pools and we'll go swimming, and this particular time I almost drowned right, literally tossed out underwater. Somebody had to dive in, bring me out, help me, wow, pr. The whole nine unconscious coughing up water in the hospital, pumping out the water out of my lungs the whole night, wow. So from that standpoint, there was a fear of water absolutely going near the pool, all of that, maybe 16, 17 friends swimming, whatever. That fear is still present. But then there's also self-doubt you might drown again. What if you don't do what you're supposed to do? Maybe you shouldn't do this and this, in that sense, is that imposter syndrome.

Speaker 2:

So for me, no, that's not imposter syndrome, that is a traumatic event that happened to you in your life and it is something that needs to yes, absolutely needs to be addressed, because I'm assuming and correct me if I'm wrong but so the incident happened and you went to the hospital and they were able to save your life, but it actually happened to you, and the emotions and the feelings and the thoughts and everything that happened then that was more than likely not really addressed. So you're bringing this with you and every time you put into that situation your body, you're bringing this with you, and every time you put into that situation your body, your mind goes back to that. This is a real fear, because you did almost die right.

Speaker 2:

So this is a real fear. So no, that's not imposter syndrome. That is an actual fear of an event that happened to you where you almost died. So you know to be fearful. But where I understand where the question is coming from this imposter syndrome, it's because you're still carrying it forward with you. So it's really going back to addressing what happened then on an emotional level how, and processing that, letting go of what you felt, what happened, in a sense of accepting that it did happen. So not pushing it aside, definitely not pushing it aside, never pushing. Not pushing it aside, never pushing it under, never pushing it aside. Addressing it, dealing with it and then moving on from there and then doing what you need to get comfortable around a pool, finding an instructor to help you swim again, whatever that might be.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, Absolutely, and for the audience perspective, I am not afraid of the water anymore. I have overcome that decades ago, but I thought it was just a good opportunity to paint the picture, the differentiations between the two, and I appreciate you sharing that. And just a side note, how I overcame that is I got my ass back in the water Fabulous, that's how I just overcame it right. And then obviously I worked on my swimming skills so I can get better. But as I got more and more into the pool, the more and more that fear diminished, so I really appreciate that. So what's your strategy? What's your typical approach and how you work with your clients that come to you with difficulty, with doubt about themselves and struggling with imposter syndrome? What's your strategy to help them?

Speaker 2:

So really three parts to it. The first part is really being crystal clear about what it is that they want Really. So what is their future vision, what is their passion, what is it that motivates them, what is their goal, what is their outcome? And really getting them excited and connected on an emotional level with what it is that they want to achieve. Because getting that sense of achievement and getting that clear direction of where they want to go is already uplifting. And once we know where they're going, we need to address what's going on currently and there's so many tools and tricks not tricks tools and tips to go into and a lot of it is just positive reframing of things. The affirmations that we spoke about, the brag book there's things like soundtrack of awesome but it really all starts with understanding where they're currently on what's happening, addressing that and then where is it they want to go, and then coming up personalized plan to get them from A to B.

Speaker 1:

Really, Okay, how did that apply for you, Because I'm going to get to your core on this. Yeah, how did that apply for you, Because I'm going to get to your core on this. When you became a coach and just like you said first one, who am I to be coaching people? And you know the fear? Is there maybe a little imposter syndrome? What did you do for yourself to get past your imposter syndrome early on in your career?

Speaker 2:

So I really did a lot of courses. I did way too many courses early on in your career. So I really did a lot of courses. I did way too many courses, but I needed that to boost my confidence. But there comes a point also where you can't just take on all the courses and you can't get all these degrees and certifications. In fact, I think there comes a point where that's actually counterintuitive. So for me it got to a point where I was like, okay, I'm going to start off. I'm just going to start off with what is it that really like? Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to help people with imposter syndrome? Why is that motivating? And I don't know.

Speaker 2:

You might've heard of the seven levels of why. So why am I doing this? And then my first answer. I can't remember exactly what my answers were, but my first answer was like, well, because I want to have freedom, right I to have a good life and I want to help people. Then I work through my levels of why and I want to give my family a good life, I want to help my kids, anyway. So I worked my way through the seven levels of why and my last.

Speaker 2:

Why was really? Because I want to be able to be a role model for my kids. I want to be present in their lives. I want to be there for them. I want to be. I've got two boys. I want to be at every soccer practice. I want to be. I want them to have a family and have family values that I can instill in them. And the best way I can show them is if I am passionate about what I do, work can be fantastic, can be fun, it can be motivating. It doesn't have to be a terrible thing. But I had to know what it is that I wanted to do so that I can show my children how great it can be and just share that passion with them. So that was a bit of a long answer, but it was really just my children that got me to my why.

Speaker 1:

So how does that connect to you today, when the imposter syndrome shows up? Because we're not, none of us is immune to it, because at some point it just shows up, how does that connect to your why?

Speaker 2:

That's a great question. So absolutely Everyone has days where you just feel overwhelmed, where you're stressed, where things are too much, and you just question yourself, like why am I doing this? And having my children as my motivation is actually a really easy thing, because my little one, he's just such a cuddly little child so I literally will grab my child and I'll give him a big hug and like I love you, this is why I'm doing this. You are my reason. My eldest one, who is quite an energetic one. He's not all about the hugs and that, but when I get to go watch him at a baseball game or whatever it is, that is my reason and I can find so much motivation in them and in seeing them do well and just me having the ability to witness that and be part of that, that it motivates me to work at night, to work in the mornings, to work on the weekends and I actually enjoy what.

Speaker 1:

I do. That's awesome. Take me through a success story one of your clients who probably someone that just came to you with all of this doubt, uncertainty, maybe even skeptical, around the services that you provide, and you were able to shift them and you were able to create success from it.

Speaker 2:

Share a story you were able to shift them and you were able to create success from it. Share a story so immediate. One that jumps to mind is I was working a couple of years ago now with a guy by the name of Alex, and Alex amazing guy, very A-type personality, very driven, very career focused, very motivated. But his company was going through big financial difficulties at that stage. The company he was working for and the CEO at that stage came to him and he was like listen, alex, you need to be changing what you're doing. These are the new procedures and the new whatever you're supposed to be doing. And he looked at this and he'd been so successful up until that point and is now being told he needs to do something else. And he's like OK, the CEO is telling me to do so. Well then, best I do.

Speaker 2:

So he started doing these things, didn't believe in what he was doing, but he still did them because the CEO told him to do. And he started making mistakes. He started losing clients. He started just not trusting the process and doubting himself. People started calling him because he was quite high up, so he was the face of the company in a lot of regards. People were calling him we're losing money we need out.

Speaker 2:

It was a very stressful situation for him. So when him and I started working together, he was really pretty much at the bottom. He'd lost all these clients, people telling him how badly he's doing and he's like I need to change, I need to get out of this. So we just really started building him up, understanding where this break happened and got him back to his original confidence that he had doing what he was good at and not following what he was supposed to be doing, but connecting to what he was good at and what came to him naturally and it was really what was his authentic way of doing it.

Speaker 2:

And once he did it in a way, or did it again in a way, that was who he truly was. He did it a lot more confidently and he got people to just believe in him and believe in the company. So he got one of the biggest investors who was about to jump ship to reinvest in the company and at the end of it, the CEO came back to him and said you know what, whatever you are doing, is exactly perfect. Do not change. It was really a massive success cycle for him and again, from you know this it's very rewarding when you get someone who is just so down and out and by the time that at the end of your time together and he's just so positive. It was an amazing, a really amazing success story and a lot of, for a lot of reasons. He is actually part of the reason why I went into imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1:

That's great. I appreciate you sharing that. What's next for you?

Speaker 2:

So I do a combination of one-on-one coaching and I do group coaching. I really like the group coaching element, I feel, specifically for imposter syndrome. While it's such a widespread or common thing, people feel they're the only ones that have these feelings. So if you're in a group setting or in a group environment, it's nice to be part of people that are going through what you're feeling. They're feeling the same as you and that in and of itself, being in that container of like-minded people, is already a really great starting point. So my goal is really just to expand that and to reach as many people as I can to just help so they can fast forward from where they're currently at to getting working. Help so they can fast forward from where they're currently at to getting working through the imposter syndrome, to accelerating their career and really taking their next step in their career and in their life. So it's reaching more people is my short answer to help them through all of that.

Speaker 1:

That is so true because most of our clients that I work with in certain fears come up and they truly believe they're the only one that has this feeling. Until I help normalize it, we all experienced this. Hey, you know what. I experienced. It too.

Speaker 1:

The point is right are you dwelling in it and what can you do to move on from it? And how do you acknowledge it? And what are your tips for yourself? What is your intentions for when the imposter syndrome shows up? What's your plan to attack it? Because it's going to show up, right, so being able to consciously give people tools and how they better address themselves when these things come up, whether it's fear, whether it's imposter syndrome, whether it's doubt, whatever you want to call it what are your intentions for when it's going to happen?

Speaker 1:

And I think most of us, we become unconscious to that and feel that we have no choice, that we have to accept the fear, the self-doubt, and just wait for it to go away. And one of the things that that's one of the things that I help teach my clients is just, you don't have to wait. You can be intentional, you can decide yes by acknowledging that. Yes, it's scary. Right now it is. I'm terrified as hell. But what else am I going to do? You know what? Yeah, I'm going to move forward, I'm going to move forward. And then another thing that I kind of share is a little mind manipulation. So the trigger of self-doubt whenever that comes. Maybe, just maybe, that's the trigger telling you to be more confident.

Speaker 2:

I like that. I like that reframe Absolutely. It's absolutely. It's just reframing it and it's, but again, it's coming back to that awareness. So when this trigger happens and you are aware of it to then oh okay, maybe I'm supposed to be more confident, or maybe there is a win in the situation, or maybe I can learn something from this. One of my favorite sayings is that and it's been killed the what's it? Failure is feedback. But the next step to that is failure is feedback. Feedback is knowledge and knowledge is power and with this power, you have the power to choose in any situation, how are you going?

Speaker 2:

to react? How are you going to act? What are you going to do with this new knowledge? Are you going to stay stuck in it or are you going to move forward? You have that power, and this is really. It's a superpower that we all have. We, as human beings, we're the only ones that have this and yet we don't claim it. So really like changing that mistake, that failure, whatever it is, moving it through feedback to knowledge, to power.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, because if you don't have knowledge so think about change, for example really quick Change is about to happen. You don't know what the result of that change is going to be, and you're trying to predict it and you just don't know. Voila, fear starts to show up.

Speaker 2:

Doubt starts to show up, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Because you don't have the self-awareness to pause, to seek understanding in those moments, to obtain that knowledge necessary about the change. You start to just feel better, you start to feel more confident and I really do appreciate this conversation. I can really talk to you all day about this. You know that right.

Speaker 2:

It's a big topic about this.

Speaker 1:

You know that, right, but look as we get ready to sign off. Are there any lasting thoughts or nuggets that you would like to share with the audience?

Speaker 2:

I think I'd like to just stack up what we said earlier on that perspective is power. So, once you are aware of what's going on and you have this choice in a situation, do you choose to win, do you choose to move forward, do you choose to learn from the situation and to grow from there, or do you choose to stay stuck? And the choice is always within you. The choice is always within you. So I think, in any given situation, whatever is happening, we don't have to rush through it. We don't have to push anything aside. We don't have to push anything aside. We actually can give ourselves grace. Take a moment, stop whatever it is you're doing and just take a moment. Our minds work incredibly fast, so we don't need much time, but just consciously take a moment and reframe whatever is happening into a powerful choice that you get to make. That's, I think the biggest thing that I'd like to leave your listeners to is that claim that power that you have within you to choose you and move forward from there.

Speaker 1:

Boom, there it is. Choose that power. And Rami, how can people find you?

Speaker 2:

I am very active on social media, so you can find me on LinkedIn Romy V Coaching. Facebook Romy V Coaching. Facebook Romy V Coaching. Instagram Romy V Coaching. I also offer for anyone who's interested. I do a 30 minute, what I call 30 minute clarity call, and that's really just finding out where are you at this stage and what is happening, what is holding you back and what is it that you want. Those are the best avenues and you can find that also on all of my website, all of the social media platforms under RoeMedia Coaching.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. It was such a pleasure having you on today. Like I said, I love this topic because I think we are the people that help model the way and help people get out of their own way, and so I really appreciate your insights, your wisdom and, lastly, all the nuggets that you shared today. So thank you.

Speaker 2:

Coach Mo, thank you so much for having me. It really was wonderful, great conversation. You have an amazing energy about you. It's wonderful to speak with you and your podcast is amazing and thank you for just putting it out there for people to grab onto and learn from, which is amazing.

Speaker 1:

Yes, thank you. Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's Think About it. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated. If you found value in today's discussion, I encourage you to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Connect with me on social media for updates and insights. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Coach Mo Coaching, or LinkedIn at Maurice Mabry, or visit my website at mauricemabrycom for exclusive content. Mauricemabrycom for exclusive content. Until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and, most importantly, keep believing in yourself. Remember, the most effective way to do it is to do it Together. We're making incredible strides toward a better and more empowered you, so thank you and I'll see you in our next episode.